Jimmy Failla

YUGE shoutout to President Trump for having EXCELLENT taste in comedy and wives. I’ve seen some crazy stuff in airport bars but this post just blew my mind.

Not happy James Talarico won but I’m excited to visit the Alamo and find out Davey Crockett’s pronouns.

Congratulations to this incredible couple on winning the Florida Governor’s Race. If anybody needs a cab ride home from the victory party I know a guy!

Barack Obama TRIPLED my healthcare costs yet the Democrats are running on "affordable healthcare." Up next the Democrats will offer us free babysitting from Lindsay Clancy.

Gonna be a boring Tuesday for me because I lost my wallet, I have zero forms ID, so the ONLY THING I can do in New York is VOTE.

Bruce Springsteen endorsed Abdul El Sayad, which means the guy who wrote "The Rising" after September 11th is now on board with the people who think America DESERVED IT. What a miserable old lesbian.

I know we're more divided than ever but we'll get through this because as Amy Acton ALWAYS SAYS, "ggftuuyuf dffrrggggg sddwwe, HICCUP"

El SAYAD donors are SHOCKED to learn that women are allowed to make their own decisions in this country.

Tonight’s lineup is ALL GUYS just like James Talarico’s search history.

Abdul El Sayad says his parents DIDN’T support his high school basketball team which is pretty wild considering they DID support a terror group. He must’ve been TERRIBLE.

Hanging with the unstoppable Lindy Li AKA the one woman who worked with Kamala Harris and didn’t get a contact high. Buy her NY TIMES best seller “Unburdened” TODAY or she’s gonna kick my ass. Her words not mine.

I can’t get mad at Democrats for putting an extra Dan Sullivan on the ballot in Alaska. Republicans wanted to add an extra Kamala but we couldn’t get into enough AA meetings to find one.

PRO TIP: If you really want to "Free Palestine" you shouldn't focus on the results of Israel's elections you should ask yourself why GAZA DOESN'T HAVE ANY

The Coast Guard just blew up a boat containing 5 illegal immigrant Narco Terrorists who were headed to America. Say a prayer for the Democrats, they just lost 5 Mid Term Voters.

Abdul El Sayad is expected to visit a Michigan Elementary School today where he will lead the kindergartners in a game of Pin The Blame On The Jew.

Friendly reminder that Obama saying healthcare is too expensive is like Bill Cosby saying the drinks are too strong. You MADE IT dude.

Ilham Omar had a TRADITIONAL Somali wedding where the church organist plays "Here Comes The BRIBE"

Flew out of town so early I was the ONLY car on the Golden Gate Bridge but it’s always nice to visit San Francisco in the fall. The Pumpkin Spiced Fentanyl was LEGIT.