Jordan

he's flown out the line there, mile offside

a life choice was made

Beethoven's 5th Element

fuck sake

I've changed the start of my work email signature from Kind regards to Viva Gareth Bale and I honestly think it's the best decision I've ever made.

1989: The internet will revolutionise the world and pave the way for future generations to flourish. 2019:

there are some properly sick bastards out there. who tf puts fabs and twisters in the awful tier. reported.

@KingstonUnited congrats on your new boss, lads

Twitter

it's Dwayne from Micro Machines

This looks like every single time I initiated an argument with my sister and she got the blame and was forced to apologise and shake my hand

#LiesYourParentsToldYou The ice-cream van plays its tune when it's out of ice-cream

Sarries, Munster, Racing 92.... and Ospreys.... Jesus Wept

Brewdog: "We're aware of the legal risks, but it's to highlight the gender pay gap so I doubt anyone would be that much of a twat" This guy: "Hold my IPA"

Gerry Cinnamon sounds like a @RealBobMortimer cat name

you absolute fucking muppet

the irony is that battery acid isn't even corrosive, it'll just itch a bit if left on skin for too long. if thrown on clothes it'll probably just clean them a bit, so if anything it's more considerate than throwing a milkshake.

Absolute daps