David B. Thomas

No, @MrJamesMay, don't let the Italians take away your stripey shirt!

@chrisbrogan I haven't done #my3words in a while. So far I have: Squeegee Felafel Abracadabra

One thing I've learned from movies is that if you've finally managed to create a peaceful life for yourself, be very careful if someone offers you just one last job.

If you're ever in doubt and can't reach me, get me the lox and cream cheese on a plain bagel. If I've already eaten, I can save it for later. Or salt bagel if they have it.

Before you criticize someone's shoes you should walk a mile in them, because they might be very comfortable and/or designed to correct some sort of orthopedic issue.

One of the best things about the holiday season is that if you shout "DON'T COME IN HERE!" people assume you're wrapping presents.

My inner five-year-old is constantly disappointed that coffee isn't chocolatey.

I think it took me so long to realize I was pretty good at doing simple math in my head because throughout the '70s and early '80s I was frequently told to "just multiply by 9/5 and add 32" as though that was no big deal.

Absolutely fascinating. bbc.com/worklife/article/202…

"What time is your first call tomorrow?" is definitely not a question I ever thought I'd be asking my 12-year old.

My wife and I are playing a game to see who can embarrass the other one most during a video conference call. Well, technically she doesn't know we are but she will in a minute.

I went to the sink after taking the garbage out and had a moment of confusion along the lines of, "Do we still wash our hands after stuff like this?"

I'm following the medical advice against touching my face and am only touching the faces of strangers.

This is really cool. I started watching F1 again in 2018 and now I have a team to pull for. (Although I've always liked Carlos Sainz, Jr. because of his dad.) mclaren.com/racing/partners/…

Waiter with peppermill: "Say how." Diner: "I thought the expression was, 'Say when.'" Waiter: "I don't know how this thing works."

Ford v Ferrari should really be called Shelby & Miles.

If I could learn to speak Dog, my first phrase would be, "Relax, I'm just going to the bathroom."

Just had to write the date for the first time in the new year. Nailed it.

I hadn't heard of Giving Tuesday before today. It's a nice idea. Our local public radio station seems especially fond of it.

You know that one kind of lettuce that comes in a spring mix that always goes dark and slimy before all the other lettuces? Why don't they just leave that lettuce out?