Ash Roughani

This might not be what appears. It is social media after all. When I first was able to articulate the trauma that happened. It was a battle. Weeks. Being hit by a a truck while riding. It took weeks. Literal weeks. I couldn’t share because I couldn’t process. I struggled to fathom healing or breathing or moving or thinking or being able to not scream in middle of the night with my 🐻 trying to hold me but that was even too painful. I wish it was a bad nightmare. I am so broken. Bones and head. I needed to hide in darkness with panic attacks and PTSD among all the doctor appointments, tremors, tears, and analysis with my Care 🐻 (@blaize_bikes) and incredible medical team. The recovery isn’t over. But to be able to throw a leg over the saddle (even if it was just for a little bit and I could hop in the @wedusport team car with @LizKreutz after the photo), it was something. It was something to still have so much pain and fog and find some semblance of who I am and normalcy. In my safety net of faith, team, @iamspecialized, family, and you. I know I may look normal. But I am not. But my only option is to press on and find joy and peace where I can. It is because of all of you and your love and God’s grace that there is this smile on my face. Some people say this is strong and resilient. I don’t know if I believe that yet. This to me is just doing the only thing I know - to move forward and maybe often not straight. This is me. It may not be all rainbows 🌈 except for the broken bones. It may not be perfect. But I know there is a plan for me. I am here. The paths are being welded and planned for me and you. Thank you again for all your love, grace, and kindness. The 🐻 is a rock and the epitome of patience and dedication. Your calls and texts and messages do not go unheard. They are cherished. Remember the battles people are facing. What we see on the outside is not always what is boiling on the inside and when no one is watching. Also. Keep #watchthefemmes and tune in to our #WEDŪ show on #THEMOVE #FEMMES covering everything @LeTourFemmes avec @GoZwift. #iamspecialized #bebold #cowgirlup #wedu