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The Babylon Bee

@TheBabylonBee

Fake news you can trust 🐝

 United States
linktr.ee/babylonbee
Joined February 2016
  • Tweets38.6K
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  • Followers5.3M
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Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)Photo by The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee)
Southern Man In Critical Condition After Being Served Unsweetened Tea buff.ly/3MLQVgV
Southern Man In Critical Condition After Being Served Unsweetened Tea

Southern Man In Critical Condition After Being Served Unsweetened Tea

KNOXVILLE, TN—A southern man was immediately rushed to the hospital yesterday after being served unsweetened tea, believing it to be sweet tea.

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Meet Steve, The Last Remaining American Who Doesn't Have A Podcast buff.ly/5QizfRY
Meet Steve, The Last Remaining American Who Doesn't Have A Podcast

Meet Steve, The Last Remaining American Who Doesn't Have A Podcast

We recently caught up with Steve in Eastern Texas. Steve is unassuming, an ordinary guy on the surface, but underneath he harbors a dark secret: he's the last remaining holdout who hasn't yet started...

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Exit Polls Confirm Democrats Won Midterms Due To Not Enough Lakes Being Renamed ‘America’

Dems Won Midterms Due To Not Enough Lakes Being Renamed ‘America’

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Exit Polls Confirm Democrats Won Midterms Due To Not Enough Lakes Being Renamed ‘America’

Dems Won Midterms Due To Not Enough Lakes Being Renamed ‘America’

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68
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Fed-Up Statue Of Liberty Moves To Florida buff.ly/TjxszZe
Fed-Up Statue Of Liberty Moves To Florida

Fed-Up Statue Of Liberty Moves To Florida

MIAMI, FL—Tourists unloading from the ferry onto Liberty Island in New York Harbor were met with disappointment this week, as the pedestal upon which the Statue of Liberty once stood was empty....

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Heaven Confirms It Is Not A Sin To Skip Pages In Your Children's Bedtime Story buff.ly/D3ta4kh
Heaven Confirms It Is Not A Sin To Skip Pages In Your Children's Bedtime Story

Heaven Confirms It Is Not A Sin To Skip Pages In Your Children's Bedtime Story

HEAVEN — In a major clarification that has sent waves of relief through exhausted households worldwide, heaven confirmed Thursday that skipping paragraphs or even full pages of a child's bedtime...

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Satan Cedes Title Of ‘Eternal Supreme Lord Of Evil And Darkness’ To Reddit Mod buff.ly/PF1W5hY
Satan Cedes Title Of ‘Eternal Supreme Lord Of Evil And Darkness’ To Reddit Mod

Satan Cedes Title Of ‘Eternal Supreme Lord Of Evil And Darkness’ To Reddit Mod

HELL — In a small and private ceremony, the Prince of Darkness himself ceded his title of "Eternal Supreme Lord of Evil and Darkness" to a Reddit mod named Brayden.

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Cheer Up, Friends: Here Are 8 Silver Linings Of The Republicans Getting Blown Out buff.ly/4k2R0Vs
Cheer Up, Friends: Here Are 8 Silver Linings Of The Republicans Getting Blown Out

Cheer Up, Friends: Here Are 8 Silver Linings Of The Republicans Getting Blown Out

Turn those frowns upside down, everyone! Even though the Democrats won sweeping victories across the country in the midterms, it's not all bad news out there. Believe it or not, there might even be...

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Millions Of Texans Seen Crossing Rio Grande Into Mexico buff.ly/9ASLjiv
Millions Of Texans Seen Crossing Rio Grande Into Mexico

Millions Of Texans Seen Crossing Rio Grande Into Mexico

EL PASO, TX — After the political winds ushered in sweeping changes to the Lone Star State last night, with radical Democrats taking power in what had been a staunchly conservative stronghold,...

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Exit Polls Confirm Dems Won Midterms Due To Not Enough Lakes Being Renamed ‘America’ buff.ly/w4uAS4o
Exit Polls Confirm Dems Won Midterms Due To Not Enough Lakes Being Renamed ‘America’

Exit Polls Confirm Dems Won Midterms Due To Not Enough Lakes Being Renamed ‘America’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans overwhelmingly voted blue on Election Day in a clear rebuke of Trump's inability to name more lakes after the United States.

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Babylon Bee Guide: What To Do If Your Side Loses The Election
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Democrats Not Sure What To Do Now With All These Fake Ballots buff.ly/c7ht6f9
Democrats Not Sure What To Do Now With All These Fake Ballots

Democrats Not Sure What To Do Now With All These Fake Ballots

U.S. — Fresh off a wave of overwhelming victories in Tuesday's midterm elections, Democrats were reportedly not sure what they were supposed to do now with all the fake ballots they had stored up.

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Problem Solved: Elon Musk Has Bought The United States buff.ly/AW8J98P
Problem Solved: Elon Musk Has Bought The United States

Problem Solved: Elon Musk Has Bought The United States

U.S. — Americans despondent over the results of the 2026 midterm elections breathed a sigh of relief on Wednesday morning as news broke that Elon Musk had purchased the United States.

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California Officially Annexes Texas buff.ly/jhyxdQY
California Officially Annexes Texas

California Officially Annexes Texas

U.S. — The state of California has officially annexed the state formerly known as Texas.

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Should You Get A Tradwife? Pros And Cons buff.ly/Pt4jyUF
Should You Get A Tradwife? Pros And Cons

Should You Get A Tradwife? Pros And Cons

Many on social media these days are talking about the trend of "Tradwives", a totally new concept where women marry, have kids, take care of those kids, love their husbands, and engage in traditional...

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Dad Dead At 9 A.M. From Questions buff.ly/9zx2EjX
Dad Dead At 9 A.M. From Questions

Dad Dead At 9 A.M. From Questions

SPRINGFIELD, MO — Local dad Marcus Dunn passed away this morning after being asked one too many questions before nine o'clock in the morning.

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Election Results Are In: Christ Still On His Throne buff.ly/IwZSj2d
Election Results Are In: Christ Still On His Throne

Election Results Are In: Christ Still On His Throne

U.S.—A number of news outlets, including CNN, Fox News, and NBC, are calling the current election in favor of Jesus Christ, who is still sovereignly reigning from His throne on high, sources confir...

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Election Officials Unveil Special New Ballot Box For Libertarians buff.ly/He2Poho
Election Officials Unveil Special New Ballot Box For Libertarians

Election Officials Unveil Special New Ballot Box For Libertarians

U.S. — Just in time for Election Day, officials unveiled a brand-new ballot box for Libertarians to use which, they say, will improve the efficiency of the counting process.

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We asked AI to show America without any Republicans.

We Asked AI To Show America Without Republicans

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Babylon Bee Guide: What To Do If Your Side Loses The Election buff.ly/2qJbrd9
Babylon Bee Guide: What To Do If Your Side Loses The Election

Babylon Bee Guide: What To Do If Your Side Loses The Election

We know Election Day can be stressful for everyone, even if it is just the midterms. That's why we're here to help you feel your feelings and express yourself properly in the event your side loses.

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