Please listen to my awful music by following โThe Rocket Houseโ on yer usual music platforms.
Holywell, Northumberland
Joined September 2009
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Iโve got a new and typically awful song out now
Not that it matters
Does anything really matter?
No
Weโre all just pointless bags of meat full of tribal hatred towards one another
open.spotify.com/album/6JHrAโฆ
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An old drawing I did of Greggg
No idea why. It was lockdown, some were more affected than others
#greggwallace
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KATY PERRY. Google 'Russell Brand'. Just once. It'll save you a lot of shit later on. /via @richmcauliffe_
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BOSS: Have you sorted the competition prize money? ยฃ12,000 isnโt it?
ME [CLEARLY WEARING A BRAND NEW ยฃ76 BANDANA]: Yeh something like that
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My dreams of being a poet vanished like a thing in a whatever.
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PREMIER INN customers. Pretend you're on The Traitors by cheering when guests come down for breakfast.
(via @M0ZZMAN)
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AVOID falling out with your family over Christmas by telling them to fuck off in November.
(via @Swissss)
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PRETEND to be a skilled pharmacist by taking half an hour to put some tablets in a fucking bag. (via @sixft2blue)
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He visto muchas pelรญculas de terror que me han dado menos miedo que este anuncio
CONVINCE fellow shoppers that youโre a HYROX champion by shitting yourself whilst pushing an Asda trolley
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My face hinge fell open and I couldnโt believe my looking blobs when I read that.
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โThe WIFI password is on the back of the routerโ
The back of the router:
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Thereโs never been a bigger signal to me that 90% of Twitter is fake than the made up culture war against the Odyssey. If youโre normal and go see the movie you have ZERO idea thereโs some uproar about the casting. Everyone on this app is fake and/or insane now.
Very liberal approach to hard drugs, Nige, but not sure your supporters will be on board
We need to rekindle our sense of civic pride.
dailymail.com/news/article-1โฆ
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DOUBLE the battery life of an iPhone by putting the fucking thing down. (via @steve_stringer)
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40 years ago today, l asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend and the most gorgeous woman l know to marry me.
All three said no.
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PRETEND you've not actually missed your train by crying and waving as it pulls away. (via @bobbobob)
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PRETEND you're early for Antiques Roadshow by standing outside a big house with a Fabergรฉ egg. (via @Swissss)