My flag has a hammer and a popsicle on it

They are saying six million israelis may vote in this election. A record turnout

Mummies are just zombies wrapped up in bandages if you think about it

Pretty sure I have the best taste and highest standards for the babes (female, 21+)

Out of the 50 years that McDonald’s has been running their monopoly promotions, not a single person has ever won a prize. It’s all a sham

I would change my clock ten times a year if Don T would quit doing the hebrew’s bidding and make gas $1.20/gal and smokes $2.00 a pack again

Őtis is an expert on international voter fraud

If anyone ever starts getting lippy wit me at the lab I’ll pull the “hey you guys begged me to come back, i wasn’t begging you” card

My nephew sending me pictures of the new gun he bought. I warned him of the dangers of losing all his firearms in a tragic boating accident like I did

Monday I will be starting back as a scientist by day and chutist by night. We’ll see how long I can tolerate it. Did it for two years before until I had enough

I busted my but today to get a four (4) chute order finished up and by the time I made it to the ups store they were already closed. They are closed tomorrow as well.

Taking a epson salt shower (to relax)

You can be the kindest most gentle husband and your wife will still only think of herself.

Mr. Chode and me🎶

Even professional athletes that have won a Super Bowl prize their state championships over any other achievements in their lives

Heading to the show me state

How do you brush a bee’s hair? With a honey comb

Eating a red baron frozen pizza

Swamp the vote?? More like swamp my timeline