Patrick Metcalf

A socialist making $60,000 a year tells Caleb Hammer she can’t afford a house and wants the government to buy her one. Then he asks how she eats, and it gets ugly for her real fast. SOCIALIST: “I’m allergic to kitchens.” CALEB HAMMER: “How do you eat?” SOCIALIST: “I get fed.” HAMMER: “Make that make sense. I need a little more information. So you eat out?” SOCIALIST: “Yes.” HAMMER: “For every meal. And you’re the one complaining about not being able to get a house.” SOCIALIST: “I can tell you how much like I pay for a meal.” HAMMER: “How much?” SOCIALIST: “Like 20 bucks.” HAMMER: “What the f*ck? That would be like 3 bucks on my meal plan.” SOCIALIST: “Am I not allowed to spend $20 a day?” HAMMER: “Listen, you can’t complain that you can’t save for anything if you’re choosing not to. It’s fine if you don’t want to. “If you would rather go out to eat, that’s fine. But then don’t complain that you didn’t get to save for retirement, that you didn’t get to save for a house. You made that choice, and that’s okay. But own it.” SOCIALIST: “But if the government provided those things…” HAMMER: “Why should they?” SOCIALIST: “Well, the government—” HAMMER: “You have no discipline. Why should they?” SOCIALIST: “Because there’s an intrinsic value to—” HAMMER: “Why should it be my responsibility to take care of you since you decided not to take care of yourself when you make good money?” She tries to change the subject to other people struggling. Hammer isn’t having it. HAMMER: “We’re talking about YOU, not other people right now. We’re on the YOU part of this. Why should I have to take care of YOU when YOU make $60,000 a year and YOU choose to blow it all?” SOCIALIST: “Because the, it’s, there’s an intrinsic value to building up your community.” HAMMER: “You’re not in my community.” Then Hammer asks her what percentage of federal income taxes the top 1% pays, and her answer says it all. Funny how the people demanding your money are always the worst at handling their own.