COLLIER

The husband is the head of the family. The wife is its heart. Neither can fulfil its role properly without the other. A wise husband consults his wife on important decisions and gives her responsibility in areas where her judgement and competence are superior to his. In some families, this might include, for example, managing the household finances. The idea that a wife must satisfy her husband's every preference is a caricature of headship. His authority exists for the good of the family, not to satisfy his whims. But the opposite error is to suppose that a wife need only follow her husband's leadership when she happens to agree with him. If she recognises his authority only when she agrees with him, she has made her own agreement the condition of his leadership. A wife's submission has practical meaning precisely when she disagrees with her husband's judgement on a legitimate matter. But this is why, in a healthy marriage, with a prudent husband, a wife will rarely feel that she is submitting at all. Her husband values her judgement, understands that mutual agreement is the ideal and has no desire to impose his will unnecessarily.