The @9others Summer Party last night - thank you @charlierward of @RamenClubHQ fame, and thanks to all who came along! See more about @9others here ->> 9others.com If it looks useful, get involved 🍽️

Then past this place of historical interest - the first good meal with @9others was held on this site, 8th December 2011 🍽️

🥳 18/52: Party, Party 🍻 The @9others Post-footy-party over at @RamenClubHQ 📰 Read the whole post here ->> matthewstafford.substack.com…

Great stuff @benln, v helpful. I'd also add... 1. If you do actually get a call with someone, and you said it would be 15 minutes, make sure you're there 2 mins early and the call lasts 14 minutes. If it's over coffee (better still, lunch, if it's all for your benefit) say - *at the beginning* - "This is on me today". And to @lulumeservey's point, if this is with someone whose brain is their product then offer to pay a fee. You might not end up paying, but the intent & seriousness sets you apart. 2. Ask brief, specific questions showing that you've done some decent thinking beforehand - not lazy, "How'd you get into VC/startups" crap. 3. Send actual thank you letters. Decent paper, a big, fat fountain pen with black ink. Don't record what you wrote. There's something magical about writing a proper letter, sticking it in the post box and only knowing that it arrived and was read if you get a reply, which could be weeks later. I was already doing a bit of this but @GSpier encouraged doing this on another level. Proper life-changing stuff. 4. Stop whinging. As @billbrysonn said at my @durham_uni graduation (20 years ago, eek!): “No one ever got invited to dinner because they’re a really good whinger”. 5. As I learned from @sacca - be the helpful guy. Help without the expectation of anything in return. Do that forever. It'll take a while, but goodwill compounds (as @gspier also told me). And, as @tomcledwyn says, it would be a bit of a weird world if you're helpful and *nothing* ever came back - but so what, helping others makes your own life far, far richer. 6. These sorts of conversations should be 80/20 (h/t @RichardKoch8020). If you ask a good question your job is to shut up and listen. The gold is on the other side of 20 seconds of silence. 7. Yeah, same as 6 - even if you think they've finished their answer, just sit tight - more good stuff will follow. 8. Not that you have to remember it *exactly*, like a stalker. It's OK, next time, to say, "Ah, now, you'll have to remind me... your kids, one of each...??". 9. A good goal is to make the other person feel interesting. 10. Yeah, however it's useful to note what you thought upon first impressions. Write that down so you can look back at it later once you know someone better. This will improve your intuition. 11. It's like spinning plates - you might have to attend to some more than others. Snooze emails, use your calendar as a reminder - it's OK to put a note in for 2 years hence. 12. Related: Empty barrels make most noise. Abair ach beagan is abair gu math e. 13. And consistent does not mean frequent per se. I remind myself that @ThisIsSethsBlog writes every day, @paulg every once in a while. 14. Be an encourager. The quote, “Be an encourager the world is full of critics already” is attributed to Dave Willis. 15. Life's a journey. Be curious, interesting, interested. Have agency, move fast, be patient, make decisions. Think for yourself, sleep on it, trust your gut. Build your network before you really need it.

"Once someone's eaten dinner with you it's very unlikely they're going to ignore your email afterwards, and sometimes they'll even go out of their way to help you" - @maxkolysh Watching Max's @ycombinator video could help solve pretty much every challenge shared at the meals with @9others too...