TheAfterPartyGirls

If a single man tells me what to do today I’m committing a war crime

Anyone else still haunted by the S-Club 7 lyric “hoochie mama, show your nana” or is that just something I carry with me

I just threw a tennis ball at a seagull cause it was eating the peanuts I left out for my crow friends. Who am I

Have you ever been so hungover you check your birth chart to see why you’re such a dumb bitch? Asking for a friend

Being a working actor is being on hold for a commercial, not getting it, thinking you’re cool with it until you find yourself at the grocery store slapping that brand of fabric softener out of your husbands hands because “we don’t buy that one anymore.”

1st wave: I should learn how to make bread 2nd wave: I am a master Baker, bread is life 3rd wave: I’ve killed my starter slowly, painfully & on purpose. It demanded too much of me

I’m about to turn 31 and my preferred method of nutrition is still a fruit flavoured vitamin gummy so what does adulthood even mean

I woke up from a dream with the phrase “I, Cheyenne, know what I need to do” in my head. Do I know what this was in reference to? No. This is WAY too much pressure on my day

No one can convince me that the stock market is anything other than a chart of men’s feelings. It’s just straight guy astrology