Alexander Fairchild

“@theericlemiere: @AlexFairchild am I immature for laughing at this?”// How dare you.

Black beans singin in the dead of night, take this broken wind and learn to breathe...

If you cheese that cow, you'll milk away the greatest havarti...

Billie Cheese is not my cheddar, she's just a curd who claims that I'm provolone...

Billy Cheese is not my cheddar, she's just a curd who claims that I'm provolone...

Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to dis a brie...

"Frozen" was tubular, even though the country pop song "Let It Go" was so terrible that I yelled "BS" in the theatre.

Bringing back "tubular" this month. Next month will be "rocks".

Living with a woman teaches you this: blood is thicker than water, but chocolate is thicker than blood.

If I were a character in a movie, the last place I'd park would be on train tracks.

Elf is already on repeat.

Is there anything better than a filthy breakfast? cc: @DennysDiner @WaffleHouse @IHOP I submit that there is not.

Big Mommas House was on last night on BET and it was hysterical.

The first divisive issue I'll tackle? Motorcycle insurance.

I'm thinking of doing a political album—enough of this "bring the world together with songs of love business." ❤️👯👯👯👯👯❤️

Create your own caption.

Do you have it?

Here's a special feature from #LastFM SESSIONS. tmblr.co/ZeAdVyza63v- #AlexanderFairchild

Do You Have It? fb.me/1Qseoi1tR