Ok I wasn't the only person on twitter to have the idea but I'm happy with how it turned out.

I hate gay halloween what do you mean you're the electoral college tied at 269-269 causing an unprecedented constitutional crisis?

The same people who screamed that a man can't have a vagina are now screaming that a female boxer born with a vagina is actually a man. Love the sound of goalposts being moved.

One of my least favourite brands of engagement farming tweet is "I flew to X and back for £16 just to buy lunch", which the tweeter invariably follows with "don't blame me for the carbon, the flight was going anyway 🤣", as if flights are a naturally occurring phenomenon.

I like the Reform UK bus, because their logo makes it clear they're heading backwards.

New pics of my face thanks to @MCarloPhoto

Still miss him. Happy birthday, Steve.

A company started last week can be handed £100m of taxpayer money But a doctor of ten years isn't worth a pay rise because they're basically just learning Logic! 🌳🔵

Black cab just tried to drive through a group of school children crossing at a green man outside Charing X then screamed at me for touching his car to stop him. Love making friends on the road 🥰 Maybe @TfLTPH need to add "not being a violent danger to others" to The Knowledge

Old statue profiles posing as educators posting reductive bad takes are a breeding ground for right wing nonsense and this is just another example.

When and why did we replace "at" with "in"? "I'm in Croydon" lacks majesty. "I am at Croydon" sounds like you're there to take the therapeutic waters on the recommendation of your 17th century physician. @susie_dent ?

Same @, same old me threads.net/@andrewlinnie

What if the Thames Water scandal brings down the government but 'Watergate' is already taken

If this is the 16th Fantasy, perhaps the previous 15 weren't very Final

Me, seeing 'Severe Delays' on the Piccadilly line

Equity friends, please vote for me in the Stage Committee elections which open today!

And the roads, airports and railways that Amazon will use to deliver that book were built with taxes that Amazon does everything it can to avoid paying.