🐊 Florida Playboy 🌴

The best concealed carry method is to just shove a loaded 9mm with a round in the chamber and the safety off in the velcro pocket of your cargo pants

Need assault rifle and hazmat suit

I like pretending that my McChrystal's snuff is the Spice Melange

I deserve to have a harem of hentai gyaru girls run a train on me until I die of dehydration

I should start banging methhead chicks

I used to be a fat smelly pervert, but then I bathed.

Bro thinks we're gonna feel remorse 😂 🖕

I have to read the boring occult books before I'm ready for the exciting occult books. Le sigh...

Besieging a castle in Medieval Europe, I shout to the defenders "My boys are gonna climb those walls and PACK YOUR FUUUUDGE! You ready to get your SHIT PUSHED IN!?" until my liege lord takes the megaphone away

I miss the days when I'd get home from community college, watch some Star Trek TNG, and have a knuckle-shattering jerk sesh to Doctor Pulaski

Gyaru girls are appealing in hentai but I don't find them attractive in real life. This poses a civilizational

I should accumulate a physical stash of pornographic magazines

"White Savior" would be a great name for a Christian Hair Metal band

I always feel vaguely bad when I eat at a Japanese restaurant, because they're a civilized people, and despite my best efforts. I always subject them to a revolting display of barbarous gluttony.

Me and my dad on the way to the liquor store

I think the fact that having a robot wife is such a common fantasy really says a lot about how fucked up things are these days. They got us so we don't even feel worthy of *fantasizing* about getting a *real* woman.