@AverageSizeAndy

Opinions are my own. Never take me serious. Not here for politics. I like jokes. Part-time underwear model. Operation Egg Salad Veteran. Cult leader.

 Upstate, NY
Joined February 2011
  • Tweets92.6K
  • Following3.4K
  • Followers3.7K
11.2KMedia
What did I learn? Nothing, because I’m an idiot. I really hope no one takes this serious. 😂
Dominie 🇺🇸
@price_dominieAug 18
What did I learn? A dress is easier than an insulated rain poncho. (If you’re going to do dumb stuff, be safe, do it without ammo)
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Wanna know how versatile the Eberlestock Hercules bag is? It fits an AT-4. I will not elaborate further.
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Last night in my house. Celebrating by being in bed by 9:45 snuggling with the pups and watching a movie.
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The only acceptable stuffing at my Thanksgiving.
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It me!
Jacktogon
@jacktogon11h
No one tell @AverageSizeAndy
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As of 10 minutes ago, I am officially debt free.
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Fuggin, HWHUT?!
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One day I’ll have fiber internet. Today isn’t that day, but it will happen eventually.
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The worst drivers in the country have New Jersey plates.
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Thinking about starting a cult…
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I sure showed them!
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Someone call PETA. Bros just ripping turkey heads off over here! 😂
Dominie 🇺🇸
@price_dominieOct 26
A quick tip for new turkey hunters. If you hit one and they don’t immediately fall over, it’s not like deer hunting. It’s wind sprint time! Chase that thing or it will disappear into the tree line at a full sprint to expire where you can’t ever find it. Sometimes a mortal hit won’t immediately dispatch the bird. Easy dispatch methods: shoot it again, club it with a stick, do the head-chop maneuver with a knife, or as I opted for today… simply grab it by the head & pull it off. I guarantee the last option won’t fail.
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And it’s not even fucking close.
Remarks
@remarksOct 26
JUST IN: 🇺🇸 New York Governor Kathy Hochul ranked as the worst governor in America, new study shows.
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First mistake was picking up the phone. Good luck in jail though.
Jonathan D. Miller@JDM4NCOct 26
I fucked up and talked to the negotiator on the phone long enough for them to box me in. They have dogs so I'm probably done for.
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Leave us alone, lady.
Elif
@ElifbenadOct 25
Bu erkek türüne ne isim veriyorsunuz ?
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Watching The Housemaid…. Not all Andrew’s are the same. Get in your attic room though, or else.
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YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!! Follow my 1SG, he’s a real one! Not just because of the patches. 😂
AJ
@ajguckianOct 26
Replying to @AverageSizeAndy
@AverageSizeAndy hooked me up
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Woke up with a zit on my forehead at 40 years old…. 🤷🏼‍♂️
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I know political stuff doesn’t give the algo the tingle. I’ll still do it. I support calling out retards. You should do the same!
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Look, I’m not saying you’re stupid…. I’m just saying you’re retarded. Take solace in that.
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The White House is a very seductive and beautiful place…. People will defend him, it’s okay. The “lesser of two evils” bullshit…. Rather side with a retard than trans kids or whatever. I don’t even know. Raise your kids right, probably have nothing to worry about.
Polymarket
@PolymarketOct 26
JUST IN: Trump calls Bill Maher a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL LOSER,” in 1,300+ word Truth, 10 days after hosting him for a 4-hour dinner at the White House.
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And don’t speak that “communism” bullshit. Trump is a Democrat, and if you think he isn’t, you’re fucking stupid.
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