Andy

I broke my son on Christmas Eve. Forgot to do the elf on the shelf so had to tell him he had gone home early. So made a goodbye video this afternoon. Crying for about an hour. Sure he will be fine for when he goes back to work on Boxing Day.

I stopped licking batteries years ago. Looks like I’ll have to have one last rodeo to see what it tastes like. Thanks @Duracell

#bbcfootball when Haaland doesn’t score for City he offers absolutely nothing. Probably had about 5 touches in 50 odd minutes.

#bbcfootball it’s going away from goal because that is where the keeper hand balled it to. If he doesn’t then Haaland goes round him and scores. Terrible decision.

#bbcfootball they haven’t got a clue if that was offside. Camera angle couldn’t see the defender on the far sides left foot. They have just guessed.

#BBCFootball if the ref thinks it’s a free kick then give a free kick. Inexplicable to carry on then decide to give the free kick when it hits the back of the net.