Tweets are purely satire. Not impersonating and not affiliated with @Barcatimes
DM POST SUGGESTIONS !!!
Joined December 2023
- Tweets3.9K
- Following252
- Followers15.7K
- Likes7.4K
Pinned Tweet
🚨EXCLUSIVE: Immediately after Ferran Torres “HERE WE GO” to PSG dropped, Gavi kicked him out of the Barcelona team group chat.
🚨 BREAKING: Vinicius contacted Lamine Yamal about starting their own Ballon d’Or award.
Lamine allegedly replied: “Sorry, I’m not washed yet. I’ll win it next year”
BarcaTimezz retweeted
This gimmick won’t last long I promise you. I’m already so convinced Lamine is winning the Ballon d’Or next year. He’s on the right track, and all he needs to do now is keep his head down, stay focused, and remind the entire world why he’s Lamine fucking Yamal.
Already on the right track with the goals and assists
BarcaTimezz retweeted
🚨| 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋: Following Man City's defeat to Aston Villa, Barcelona are now the only team in Europe's Top 5 leagues with a 100% league win record. #fcblive 🔥
🚨BREAKING: Florentino Perez will not attend the Clasico vs Barcelona.
This is because he will be watching the game from the VAR ROOM.
🚨BREAKING: Rodri won’t feature vs PSG. Flick believes DESTROYING Real Madrid is more important than PSG
Jose Mourinho has been advised to start PRAYING.
🚨BOMBAZO: Ferran plans to confront Gavi tomorrow over kicking him out of the group chat before he could say goodbye.
Gavi has threatened to kick him in the balls if he comes near him.
🚨JUST IN: Balde was asked what his birthday wish was, and he said “to start against PSG”
Flick told him to make another wish
🚨 BREAKING: After Flick told Balde to make another wish, he closed his eyes in tears and said:
“God, I don’t ask for much. Just make two defenders unavailable vs PSG and let me score the winner on Tuesday.”
BarcaTimezz retweeted
🚨🎖| 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍: Eric García will be the only player undergoing tests tomorrow, while everything is reportedly OK for Gerard Martín and Koundé. [@fansjavimiguel] #fcblive
🚨BREAKING: Jules Kounde has decided to throw a party after hearing that Vinicius won’t play El Classico. @ElChirincirco
🚨🗣️ Thierry Henry: “My Ballon d’Or pick was Mbappé, but I’ve changed my mind. Lamine Yamal is clear of every player in the world right now.
There is no argument left. The award should be his. @sportstnt
🚨BREAKING: Lamine Yamal has warned his teammates “No one touches Lemina tonight”
I’ll give him more than the Rabiot treatment tonight.
🚨 BREAKING: Gavi is DEVASTATED about Vinicius missing El Classico.
He had been practising his World Cup trophy celebration in front of him all week.
🚨🎙️| Hansi Flick: People keep saying the team has evolved but I think we’re going to evolve more when we face Real Madrid and PSG.
The Quantum leap will be against this two teams.
