Sour Patch Kid

The fact that #TeenTitansGo can understand microaggressions black women face everyday and some of y'all grown asses still like to play dumb. S5 EP23

Let me find out I need arch supports in my roller skates... Damn I'm old.

Few things are more satisfying than Blanche Devereaux storming off in kitten heels. Though slamming a flip phone shut is a close second. #QuarantineThoughts

Dear @Doritos, This is a lie. There are still only 5 seasoned chips in the bag.

Am I the only one who thinks the Robot is #LilWayne? #TheMaskedSinger

Look at JLo and Shakira, just refusing to age...at all. #SuperBowlLIV

Idk what that says about how 2020 will go for me but I figure either A.) I'm gonna become best friends with @TiffanyHaddish or B. ) I'm going to need a friend like her to go to AA meetings with me. Smh #Happy2020

And you know what "Dream Tasha" did? She STFU and bought her friend "Dream @TiffanyHaddish " another f**kin bottle of RAIN vodka.

I told her I could afford a better gift than that and pointed out the two bottles she already had sitting in front of her (they had magically appeared). She hit me with the stone face and said, "Bitch. You ask me what I wanted & I told u."

In true @TiffanyHaddish fashion, she requested alcohol. A bottle of RAIN Vodka to be exact. (I've never tasted nor purchased RAIN Vodka in my life btw so idk why it was in the dream.)

So while we were getting dressed for her birthday party in her hotel suite (it was the size of a mansion), I ask her what she wanted me to get for her...

It was Tiffany's birthday and I still hadn't figured out what gift to give her but she already had everything...

My first dream of the new year was solely about my friendship with @TiffanyHaddish, whom I've never met...

Dear Extra Super Important People CCd in Corporate Emails, Read the original email before you tell me to try something that has already been tried or request info I have already provided. You are only further proving your worthlessness. Thank you.

I only came back for #BlackTwitter.

Heyyy stranger...

Lemme find out Sam Smith lost too much weight... Even his vocals sound skinny. #Oscars

I didn't find Stacey Dash funny. Like why was she there? #Oscars

Y'all remember that time in 2016 when white ppl invented cornrows? #boxerbraids #whydidntwethinkofthisfirst