CZAR

Someone touched my shoulder and told me to quit smoking. When I turned around, there was nobody there. i was in london with my guys. high as fuck. smoke everywhere. suppress desires by tuff king playing. then i felt a hand on my shoulder. like someone who knew me. and a voice said "quit smoking." i turned immediately. nobody. my guys were still laughing and passing it round like nothing happened. but i knew what i heard. i didn't say anything. what was i going to say? "guys God just touched me?" while we were high? lmao i didn't light another one that night. that was 3 months ago, and i haven't smoked since. The first week was hell tho. i couldn't eat. food just didn't make sense anymore. i couldn't sleep either. i didn't realize how much my body depended on weed to function. People think quitting is just "stop buying." no. your body fights you. your mind starts negotiating. "just one won't hurt." "maybe only weekends." I’d been smoking every day for almost 10 years, so i knew it wouldn't be easy. it took about 3 weeks before i could eat a full meal and sleep through the night again. i'd tried to quit before. never lasted. but this time felt different, like the desire just left. and the song playing that night was literally called suppress desires. you can't make this up. I always thought weed gave me inspiration, that every brilliant idea came when i was smoking. that's what weed makes you believe. it's a lie. 3 months clean now. my head has never been this clear. my work rate has gone up dramatically, and i'm eating cleaner because no more munchies. Was it God or was it the weed? was it my own mind? i honestly don't know. but something touched me that night, and i haven't been the same since. If you're going through it right now, the no appetite, no sleep, all of it, it ends. hold on. and if you're waiting for a sign, maybe this is it.