Nicest B.

So, I have this mummy who is my friend. I tend to keep older, married women as friends because sometimes, you need a woman's perspective on certain things, and I like having people I can learn from. I usually visit her whenever I'm less busy, and we also talk on the phone. Yesterday, I went to her house as usual, only to discover that she had packed out of her husband's house. 😭😭 Mind you, we've been talking on the phone, and she never mentioned anything to me. I met her husband there, and he told me they were no longer together. These people have been married for about 28–30 years. 😭 Today, I got her new address and went to visit her. I had some things I wanted to ask her about, and I needed an older woman's perspective because I didn't want a clouded judgment from discussing them with my mum. So, I asked her, Mummy, you've been married to this man for almost 30 years. What happened? She said when she married him, she was very young, and her husband was a ruthless man. According to her, whenever he had money, instead of using it to take care of the family, he would spend it on himself. She would then take up the responsibilities he was supposed to handle. I asked her how she managed to cope with all of that. She said, Kò fún mi rárá, ni ahun, Ó fún mi kò tó, ọ̀kánjúà ni n jẹ bẹ. 😭😭 Basically, whatever he could provide, he would provide. Whatever he couldn't or refused to she would find a way to handle it herself. She didn't always see it as a reason to leave. She had young children, and she wanted to raise them. So she endured. But it wasn't just financial irresponsibility. This man used to beat her mercilessly, too. 💔 She endured the neglect, the violence, the responsibilities, EVERYTHING, because her children were still young. Now, fast-forward to the present. I asked her, But Mummy, why now? After almost 30 years, why leave now? By now, you should be used to it na. 🌚 Do you know what she told me? Apparently, the man has a health condition he's managing, and now he expects her to take care of him. And according to her, the problem isn't even that he needs care. It's the condescending attitude that comes with it. The same man who had spent years making her carry responsibilities alone was still physically abusing her on top of everything. 😭 Then came the issue of the house she built with her own money. The man questioned why she would build a house without his consent. Why would she invest her own money without his permission? And all sorts of things. According to her, he beat and battered her over these too. And I think that was the point where she finally said I've had enough. Her children are grown now. Most of them are in the university. Her last child is around 300 level, and two of her children are even outside Nigeria. So, she packed her things and moved into the house she built with her own money. 😭 Guess what? NONE of her children is asking her to return to their father. Not one! In fact, according to her, the children believe that their father is getting exactly what he deserves. 😭😭😭 And honestly? I LOVE THAT MOVE! 🤭👏🏽