looking back at a few pictures from 2 years ago of my doctor an his wife his family have been friends of mine for many years he is a great guy i met him through his son that lives in finland when i was in finland on tour then he came to canada many years ago we hung out and i met his family and we been pals every since. i trust nobody so when he passes on ill not go see another doctor ever

Earlier today, I got very angry because some small-minded people with holes in their hearts made some shitty comments about my health and my faith. They made a point of telling me that I used to inspire them, but to look at me now. As if I am no longer a human being. As if I haven't lived more lives than most people, put my body through hell, and now find myself watching it break down. I should have been dead a long time ago, many times over. To the seven people today who gave me hell for being sick, telling me it was a lack of faith and that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do, let me tell you something. First of all, this isn't about vanity or bragging, but over the last 18 and a half years, I have done the work. I have served, and I still do. Some of the very people treating me like shit now that I'm the one who needs help are people whose children I stepped in to rescue when nobody else would. I've been shot at, stabbed at, and almost shanked in the process of doing what I believed I was called to do. But I hated sharing everything I did on Facebook because it made me feel like I was bragging, and that was never my heart. So I made a decision a long time ago that I would never post about the personal people involved in my ministry. Public speaking events are different, of course, but even after 18 years, good luck finding videos of me speaking in towns across the country. I don't allow cameras because, to me, ministry and community service are private, personal, and passionate things. When I share my life with people, it is between me and the people who took the time to come to my events. I'm not out there looking for clicks or recognition for good deeds. I never have, and I never will. Just because you don't see me posting about the last kid I helped or the last addict I worked with doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. I'm simply doing things I tell nobody about, so nobody can use them to talk shit about me. MY FAITH IS FINE. Yes, I get angry with Christians sometimes. Today, for a minute or two, I was so sick, feverish, dealing with infections, crippled up with pain, frustrated, and exhausted that I was ready to tell all Christians to kiss my arse. God knows my heart, and He knows why I'm angry. After all these years of doing what I believed I was supposed to do, towing the line, and refusing to return to organized crime just to survive, here I am, hurting and struggling, left feeling pathetic because I finally asked for help, only to have some Christians tell me I'm a failure. Not all Christians are like this, and I've never experienced this situation in quite this way before. Yes, I've met nasty Christians, just as I've met nasty people from other faiths. But I've also encountered true beauty in people, including my own arsehole buddy, Anthony! It's going to take me a while to bounce back from this. Yes, it hurts. It absolutely kills me that some of the people and families who could help me now aren't there when I need them. These are people I stepped in to help when, had I not done so, their families might not be together today. But I also recognize that this is where bitterness can creep in. I didn't serve because I expected something in return, just as I never served for clicks, praise, or recognition. I'm not a selfish person, and I'm not a narcissist. I'll let anybody come and take whatever they need from me any day of the week, if I have it to give. Anyway, this post is to say that if I've come across as an even bigger arsehole than I normally am lately, I'm sorry. I am grateful for what God does for me, even when it means having to suffer through things I don't understand. And I am grateful for the true Christians who step up when it matters, even when I screw things up, even when you're angry with me, and even when you don't agree with me. I am human. I get angry. I get frustrated. I get hurt. My body is breaking down, and some days the weight of everything becomes too much to carry alone. That doesn't mean my faith is gone. It doesn't mean my years of service meant nothing. And it certainly doesn't mean I have suddenly become a failure because I'm the one who needs help. So please, forgive my bitterness while I try to deal with the situation I'm in. I'm still the same man who has spent the last 18 and a half years trying to make a difference. I'm just a man who is hurting right now, trying to find his footing in a world that sometimes seems to forget that even the people who spend their lives helping others need somebody to stand beside them once in a while. — MBR

Crutches finally showed up I ordered thank you to the person that donated an amazon gift card so i could get them

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like my work, you can buy me a coffee and share your thoughts 🎉☕ buymeacoffee.com/MICHAELBULL…

With halloween coming up folks are having parties and some have been asking to buy my military uniform coats i have. and like i tell them every time NEVER EVER would i sell a military coat to be disrespected as a custom. Lives LIVES where given up by those that wore these. Maybe im crazy but thats my opinion

Homecare nurse to come clean my feet wounds so i do not get more infections bandage them up.Another expence yee haw

this is insane my feet are getting worse first the hole in one foot infected that i am treating then the torn foot the other foot..an now i wake up this morning to all my toenails falling off. i have started heavy antibotics for my feet and lung infections hopefully the ultrasounds an xrays will see whats happening to me later this week. it sucks not being able to walk thats for sure

GOD KNOWS SPOKEN WORD by MBR The reason I do not go back to who I used to be is because I now believe God knows me. He always has, but I never chose to be free. When I suffer with depression or pain, God knows but I chose not to be free. Yes, the memories remain, but the pain, God knows, and I can be set free. There are many things from my past that will remain, but they do not have to hold me captive, because God knows, and I can be set free. The anger I feel about how people treat me it’s okay, God knows, and I do not have to be angry, I can be set free. Being a victim of years of torment, I could still hate the world, but I found God, and He knows and I have been set free. I survived for years on the street, alone. I did not know God then, but He knew me, and one day I’d be set free. Months locked in a solitary cell, alone and empty but I was not really alone. God knew, and He sent for me. Even the years I did not believe, that was okay, because God knew me, and He believed in me. Years of hard living, the feelings of being lost, my life destroyed that was the cost. Not forgiveness, just hate and shame. But that’s okay God knew me, and He waited for me to call His name. When that day came around, I was on the ground, body broken and mind weak. And God knew, and saw me, and watched me weep. Moments away from taking my life, He saw me and knew He had to save me again and this old life had to come to an end. I yelled out, “Why me, God? If You are real, where is love? Why do You let me starve? Give me an inch, Lord, show me real, pure love once.” And He heard me, and He knew this will be a real gut punch. In an instant, what I never saw but felt was a love I’d never known, because He knew me. He gave me what I needed on the floor that day He gave me the love I had let go astray, only because He knows. After feeling that love, my heart became new, because now I know what God knew from Heaven above. The years after God showed Himself to me, my heart remains in complete loyalty. And even in my struggles financial, physical, or complaint I know God sees me, and He knows my heart. And when I show and have faith, He kickstarts my heart. So from day one until now, hardships may come, but faith in the Lord will get life done. If you are in a painful life today, just remember God knows, and He is waiting for you to say, “Hey.

My buddy just dropped off my meds hopefully they will kick in fast

Well my great Doctor has an order in for meds to help fight these infections thank God. I am glad he is a Doctor everyday as well as a buddy an im going for ultrasound an stuff on my feet

If I can get this one healed up an the other foot is torn so that will take atleast 12 weeks then I can walk again but stupid lung infection my body is fighting to much infection

“Mixtapes and Magic” ..MBR I miss the old days, before online and screens, When love was a mixtape of teenage dreams. We’d sit by the radio, hearts all aflame, Waiting for Journey to whisper her name. You’d hit “record” too late, miss the start, But every song came straight from the heart. Each lyric a message you hoped she’d see, That every “I love you” was secretly me. You’d hand her that tape with a trembling hand, A greatest hits gift from your favorite band. No emojis, no texts, just courage and sweat, And the hope she’d rewind what she wouldn’t forget. You’d wait all night for the phone to ring, Talking for hours ‘bout everything. Till her mom picked up, said “That’s enough!” You’d laugh it off, though goodbyes were tough. Those weekends away in cabins and cars, Felt like adventures beneath the stars. We had Atari, we had Pong, But love was the rhythm that played all along. Now love’s an app with a swipe and a ping, No slow dance songs, no promise rings. We ghost and scroll, we like and we type, But the spark feels lost in all the hype. So let’s bring back the tapes, the hiss, the charm, The nervous glance, the racing arm. When Phil Collins or Poison spoke your soul, And every power ballad made you whole. For not all my life was pain or wrong, I still hum those tunes, I still sing along. The 80’s may fade, but their love stays true I’d rewind it all, just to fall like I used to.

MY YEARLY CHANGE-OF-WEATHER LUNG INFECTION PICKED A GRAND TIME TO SHOW UP, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING ELSE GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. NOW I CAN'T BREATHE PROPERLY, AND I'VE GOT A BIT OF A FEVER. BLOODY HELL, CAN'T A GUY CATCH A BREAK FOR ONCE? GRRRRR! I WAS TALKING TO SOMEBODY EARLIER, AND IT TOOK EVERYTHING I HAD JUST TO CATCH MY BREATH FOR A SECOND. SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO WONDER WHAT ELSE THE UNIVERSE HAS UP ITS SLEEVE. I'M ALREADY MAXED OUT, EXHAUSTED, AND TRYING TO HOLD EVERYTHING TOGETHER, AND NOW THIS! ONWARD I GO, I GUESS. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?