My ability to take the Ballon d'Or seriously vanished when Henry was continuously overlooked for it, but Raya missing out to Simon this year only underlines again how farcical the whole thing can be.

🚨 NEW: Andy Burnham has announced five "everyday fixes" ahead of the Budget 1. Carer's Allowance will be changed so carers no longer lose their entire benefit when they earn over the limit - instead, their support will reduce by £1 for every extra £1 they earn 2. Import tariffs will be removed on more than 100 products, including baked beans, chocolate and gherkins, to save households up to £21 on their food shop a year 3. Tax-free mileage rates for workers using their own cars will be made permanent at 55p per mile for the first 10,000 miles, with the rate for additional miles rising from 25p to 35p 4. Parental pay will be extended to over 150,000 more parents a year, including self-employed fathers and partners 5. Hundreds more Post Office drop boxes will be rolled out to save people queueing at branches

Oi never forget this from Deeney 😭😭😭

Tonight, Cardiff Castle will light up green to mark Dwarfism Awareness Day. 💚 The illumination celebrates diversity and helps raise awareness and understanding of dwarfism. orlo.uk/S4Qel

"They're probably going to sack him" Gary Neville's immediate reaction to Man Utd's 3-0 loss to Bournemouth 😳