Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy) header
Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy) profile picture

Never forget that the first and clearest example of common sense is that the earth is flat and the sky revolves around it.

Flourtown PA
Joined April 2010
Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)Photo by Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy)
Jeff Michael retweeted
this will hurt the economy
The dying Sun may tear the outer solar system apart far sooner than anyone expected. New research in The Astrophysical Journal Letters suggests that once the Sun sheds its outer layers and collapses into a white dwarf, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune could be thrown into chaos in roughly a billion years—not the nearly eternal stretch of a quintillion years previously imagined. Earth will almost certainly be long gone by then, but the gas giants may not survive either. Traditional models assumed the outer planets would quietly endure for eons until a random passing star finally disturbed them. Researchers Konstantin Batygin and Jim Fuller of Caltech, along with Fred Adams of the University of Michigan, found a more violent possibility: if the Sun loses mass in discrete bursts rather than a smooth wind, the planetary orbits can be destabilized relatively quickly. “Everything changes when the envelope departs in pieces,” the authors wrote. In simulations of 672 burst-driven scenarios, up to 96% of the systems became unstable within 3 billion years after the Sun became a white dwarf. About 40% suffered disruption or violent scattering even earlier, before mass loss was finished. Some planets were ejected entirely; in others, Uranus and Neptune swapped places. Gentler bursts sometimes locked planets into stable resonances that held for billions of years, but the overall picture is clear: the Sun’s death may not be a slow fade. It could be a comparatively rapid, chaotic upheaval that ends the orderly architecture of the outer solar system far sooner than once thought.
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According to the Epstein files, it’s children.
Trump: Whether it's wine, champagne, cars… everybody's got a weak spot. I won't tell you what my weak spot is.
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In all seriousness, that's a thousand times more interpretable as a threat against the current president than was “86 47.”
A heckler was removed from Trump’s rally just now. The back of his shirt said “kill your local pedophile.”
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Jeff Michael retweeted
Trump, in 2023: Before I even arrive at the Oval Office, shortly after I win the presidency, we will have that war between Russia and Ukraine settled. Get it done very quickly, maybe in 24 hours.
Rubio: You think we settled the war in Ukraine in 30 minutes? That's not the way it works.
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Appointing Lindsey Graham’s sister — who by any metric is woefully unqualified— is genuinely fucking insane. Being a senator is not a lordship. He wasn’t the goddamn Lord of Riverrun. Why can’t Republicans be serious about anything?
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Holy shit guys….make sure to get to the Trump State Fair in DC early to avoid the massive lines to get in 🤣
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Whoever did this. Just know that I love you.
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Lmao they’re gonna tarp the reflecting pool, drain it and make a giant slit in it aren’t they….just so Trump can be like see I told you 🙄
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Jeff Michael retweeted
Trump on the reflecting pool: "If you had a knife, you can't even cut it." Also, Trump on the reflecting pool: "They cut it."
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TRUMP: “We’ve had some real problems with vandalism at the beautiful Reflecting Pool” FACTS: Security cameras monitor the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool and the surrounding National Mall. The National Park Service and federal law enforcement maintain constant surveillance CONCLUSION 1: If there had been vandalism, footage would exist and Fox would be running it 24/7 CONCLUSION 2: Trump is full of shit..AGAIN!
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So Trump can deploy the National Guard in minutes to protect the Reflecting Pool but not to the Capitol building on J6? Interesting 🤔
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Oh. My. Those baseballs had families. #RingTheBell #Schwarbomb
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on the plus side he can have a beer at CBP now
We have designated 1B/OF Nick Castellanos for assignment and selected the contract of INF/OF Samad Taylor from Triple-A El Paso. Taylor will wear No. 0.
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Jeff Michael retweeted
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Jeff Michael retweeted
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Jeff Michael retweeted
Sad news on Topper. Great baseball man but more importantly great person. Did a ton for The Phillies and I appreciate him. I know how difficult these types of decisions are. Hope that Don Mattingly can help turn things around. Go @Phillies
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Jeff Michael retweeted
Man, this stinks. I don’t think people realize just how savvy Rob was when it came to the business of people, specifically leading people. Never saw a coach publicly sacrifice himself more to protect his players, in an attempt to handle things professionally and privately.
Breaking: The Phillies have fired manager Rob Thomson, sources told @JeffPassan. Don Mattingly will take over as interim manager. The Athletic was first to report the news. Get breaking news alerts from Jeff Passan through the ESPN App: espn.smart.link/gq0gg34d4
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Jeff Michael retweeted
i think it's important to note that the correspondents dinner wouldn't be at a White House ballroom even if it were built. The dinner is not a White House event. It's a WHCA event. Also, Trump had never attended before (would he host a dinner he didn't attend).
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Jeff Michael retweeted
Russ Vought on inflation: “We went from 9% to 3%.” Inflation was 3% when Biden left office. It’s 3.3% today.
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