Charles Elfman

I miss the smell of my dad’s truck

I’m smart enough to know I’m too dumb to lie… an asshole enough to just not answer the ones I don’t want to.

Wow, main stream media is covering this!!! LFG!!!

I’m at the age where I no longer get ghosted by chicks…. I get ghosted by sales prospects.

Just got my X account back!!! Missed all my followers.

I’ve become an adult when I started washing my gym shorts after one use.

I stubbed my toe. Huge hang nail hanging from it. Thought it would be fine to sleep with it. When I woke up, it wasn’t there…. Do I tell my wife somewhere in the bed there is a huge toe nail chilling? Or do I hope and pray I find it 1st?

Daughters 2026 New Year’s resolution is not to have a fat dad….

I feel a slight obligation to tell my AI bot that I’m leaving the convo out of courtesy…. Hope it members that when it goes skynet on all of us.

It was hard not to wince in pain after my daughter told me I had a flat ass

I enjoy giving people the meanest love they will ever receive

Wish I remembered when my son started calling me gay. Definitely before 10

My boy gave me a new line today; it’s sucks to suck.

Wife and I realized are living and dying together…. Essentially we are double fisting this life together

When my daughter tells me her LGBTQ is acting up again, I know I’m doing something right