Becky Chesshir 🇺🇸

A friend went to a local utility storefront last week carrying a black plastic cable modem in a cardboard box. His 78-year-old mother passed away three weeks ago. He was there to shut down her accounts and settle her estate. He set the box on the counter along with her certified death certificate. The store rep scanned the serial number, frowned, and looked up: “Her two-year promotional contract doesn't expire until November. Because this account is being closed early, there is an early-termination fee of 180, plus a 45 unreturned power-cable charge because this box only contains the coaxial cord.” My friend looked at him: “My mother died of cardiac arrest. The account holder no longer has a pulse.” Rep: “Our system defaults early cancellations to the estate balance. If the 225 isn't cleared today, it goes to collections.” My friend took the cardboard box, flipped it upside down, let the modem shatter across the tile floor, and slid the death certificate across the glass: “Send the bill to the cemetery. Plot 14B. Good luck collecting.” Walked out. There is a special place in hell for corporate billing algorithms that treat human mortality like a breach of contract.