Laura-Ann Lane

I do a lot of recruiting consulting work with aspiring college athletes thru @BYondSportCoach … Why? Because I spent everyday for over a decade as a recruiter at events and in daily conversations. I recruited thousands of athletes and in my final years as a D1 head coach, had many cry in my office during the recruiting process because of how stressful it was. Something that should’ve been a joy was the furthest from it. It’s so avoidable! Some important keys to my work: Process - I can quickly help people with the basics of the process, does/don’ts, questions to ask, nuances of the business they would not know, industry knowledge about stability of programs/rules/trends, and the ability to fight the feeling that they are behind and need to do every camp/clinic/event under the sun. More is not better believe it or not. Strategy to protect energy and sustain sports development is key. Truth and personal growth - Sometimes I have to address things athletes or parents need to change to reach goals. Attitude, effort, work to contact coaches, maturity, often PATIENCE. Athletes need truth telling and reality to have success. Humility is knowing you have strengths but also have areas you need to grow in that will be revealed. The greats embrace that. If you can’t handle it in the recruiting process, you will not be prepared for college athletics. Fit - Another key often missing is knowledge of FIT! Too many club/travel coaches (not all but many) are looking to get someone a roster spot at a place that looks great to put in a post on social media. It’s not always malicious, just a very real human bias. Too few people are preparing athletes to COMPETE at the next level. Committing is just the beginning of a new journey where you start back at the bottom. Nothing is guaranteed at that next level. All would do well to remember college athletics are now actually professional sports: a business. Parents back off - when you run the recruiting process 1) college coaches know 2) this also disempowers your child to own their journey and feel confident in where they land and that THEY earned it. Believe they can own it. Also, please avoid being the parent that is name dropping visits, clinics/camps, recruiting contact to other parents and athletes. I spent countless hours sitting in stands as a recruiter around parents overhearing this talk and knowing it was parent insecurity and posturing. And largely inaccurate/embellished. That actually puts pressure on your child. Don’t be this person. The athletes I’ve seen have long term success in their sport and enjoy their experience have taken the recruiting process as a journey of both hard work & self-discovery, not a calculated marketing campaign too woo the biggest names. In being authentically themself, they found places that respected them. They have also weathered twists and turns, including disappointment, and become stronger. Parents, let your athlete own it. Athletes - Trust the process. Believe in yourself and hold a lot of things loosely. A big name doesn’t necessarily mean a great coach or experience. Every invite is not something you have to do. Know you will have your own speed, direction, path, and experience. Know that there are amazing coaches at every level of college athletics. I’ve never seen two identical recruiting paths, even with identical twins! Mainly, be where your feet are, be authentic about WHO you are & ENJOY your sport! Passion and love for competing always rise to the top in time.

I’m a huge believer in the cognitive triangle - behavior/thoughts/emotions - and how beneficial it is to people around athletics. Athletics is a space uniquely focused on producing behavioral outcomes (mental toughness, performing, winning). High level athletes and coaches often learn to dissociate from or repress feelings to produce those outcomes since childhood. The current fad of mental performance & optimization culture (more emphasis on thought, behavior, hard work, & need to be in control) can actually exacerbate instead of create more healthy individuals. Many of the people I work with are incredibly tough and successful, and already have a high performance mindset. They actually don’t need to continue overusing those muscles. They reach a point that the very things that worked for success in sport don’t always translate to internal peace or successful navigations of other areas of life outside of sport (relationships, grief, loss, parenting, conflict, mental health strain etc). This can create great turmoil, confusion, and fear. I’m here to say, no one is meant to be “high performing” all the time. Feelings don’t have to be scary or an enemy. Learning to acknowledge & process them after years of repression or dissociation to produce outcomes is challenging but doable with help. On the other side of the work can actually be a better and fuller life! And it doesn’t mean a person has to lose their competitive edge (as many subconsciously fear). It’s wonderfully rewarding work that people like myself have a passion for.