The Constitutionalist

Horde of locusts poised to attack State of Firestone, in judgment for crimes against Mayflower people.

Constitutionalist News Service does not report on misadventures of failed capitalist business ventures.

State of Mayflower sees record numbers of tourists flocking border. Authorities overran, explaining lack of reporting.

Mayflower Ministry of State confirms DOJ dullard Eagleye785 is not worth cost of surveillance.

Constitutionalist News Service demands “state-affiliated media” description from Twitter.

Renegade giant squid escaped from Lander Aquarium is wrestled into submission by Comrade TrickNixon. Dosens of schoolchildren saved.

Infamous shouting braggart LordHenryVonHenry warned in strictest terms to keep his meddlesome snout away from Mayflower-Firestone peninsular affairs.

Firestone embassy warned diplomats may not hug Governor TrickNixon, except in comradely way.

Chief Farington saves dozen of children by strangling rampaging polar bear escaped from Lander Zoo.

"MPBS" is Mayflower propaganda network devoted to glorifying exploits of current dictator TrickNixon. Only Constitutionalist News reports objectively on many failings and repressions of TrickNixon junta.

Constitutionalist News delighted to accept position as MEC Trustee.

Whimsical fantasy of Governor Tricknixon criticized for unrealistic optimism and gaiety in describing daily lives of Firestone people.

Former Senator Dribbleware compared to that of insensate vegetable.

Constitutionalist News declares premature death of Sparelockned to be early case of Covid vaccination side effects. Case closed.

Ministry of Culture national ban on sandals under consideration. "Nobody wants to see your toes."

Bean is national legume of State of Firestone.

Police departments of State of Mayflower, citing happy and harmonious working conditions, avoid representation by unnecessary unions.

Mayflower Institute of Law advised to encourage memorisation of statutes, ordinances, edicts, and sayings of Supreme Commander Tricknixon. Also proper citation.

Complete collection of Kim Jong Il's Works (Vol. 34) published.

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