Psychotherapist https://xitter.gq/t.co/iPd5T9mEIX
Joined March 2026
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Cory Grad retweeted
"People plant their flags, and the flags are where they make their money, too."
- Dallas Taylor
A tricky topic with plenty of moving parts.
1. One piece of it is the perspective that white men occupied and still occupy a dominant place in society and did so through oppression of various groups. While there is a kernel of truth in that, it now extends to some aspects of public perception attaching the sins of their forefathers to the current generation of white men.
2. Feeling rejected by society, some in the incel community have lashed out, particularly at females, casting themselves in unsympathetic light. This is not representative of all, but some pretty nasty things have come out of there.
Some in these communities, feeling that love isn't possible and opted for dominance and power, reinforcing the themes of point 1
3. I wonder how deeply rooted it is in the public psyche that a man's existence is defined by his ability to succeed combined with the all too common male stoic defense, combining into archetypal male who endures hardships without complaint and overcomes no matter what.
This would explain some aspects of the scorn they receive: they are viewed as failed men. They do not succeed, they do not attract, and they lament their rejections until it festers into bitterness and rage.
There's probably much more to it than what I listed, but I can only put so much into an X post until it becomes a substack article. You initially asked in an era of supposed diversity and tolerance why do incels invoke such scorn and lack of sympathy. I think much of it has to do with the social and historical factors that go into the perspective of men and an odd sense of "evening the score."
Cory Grad retweeted
Most leadership teams do not need more trust exercises.
They need to identify which truths are expensive to say, who pays the price for saying them, and what the organization therefore remains unable to know.
This is sadly all too common. Family systems seal shut, and all the social and emotional needs of the family unit are consolidated on to the family unit. This isn't tenable in the long term.
It does raise the interesting question of what could be done to bring back these "third spaces."
Cory Grad retweeted
The disappearance of “third spaces” that are neither home nor work, coupled with stigma against married couples with kids spending evenings or weekends outside the home, has created a society of “family pods” that don’t intermingle nearly enough. Children benefit from their parents’ wide friend network. They have more possible godparents or future mentors/connections to jobs, people to take them to school when parents are sick, or many many other advantages. people in the early to mid 1900s simply had better social sense and civic/community mindedness than people now. Not everything translates to an internet analogue, including but not limited to socialization and community for your family.
I'm sorry but this is so fucking lame. Your grandparents partied. Your grandparents hosted, they went to bars, they did shit. They didnt sit around and pride themselves for spending all of their free time staring at their children and mowing the lawn. Get the fuck out of your house. Take your wife out for a drink and listen to some live music. Have a conversation with someone at the bar. Go to a hockey game with your college buddies. Youre not somehow more mature for being homebound. Get a life.
Something I've noticed with couples, married or otherwise, is a focus on external growth while internal growth remains untouched. External growth refers to things such as purchasing a house, getting married, having kids, etc and internal growth refers to the ability to tolerate and resolve conflict, understand your partner's values (especially around parenting), navigate when people have conflicting needs, etc.
This can work for a while, but eventually the external growth will draw upon the underdeveloped inner work of the relationship. The relationship will try and compensate for this, but usually a way in that does not serve the relationship well in the long term.
Cory Grad retweeted
“Most [therapists] could benefit by looking harder at why they became therapists and what types of affirmation and gratification they are seeking. From my experience, many suffer from being too passive, masochistic, and conflict-avoidant.”
—Karen Maroda
Woebot already tried that. There may be some benefit, however one of the reason why Woebot didn't take off in the commercial market is that patient wanted more open ended conversation rather than something formatted around CBT. Not disputing your claim, but it highlights the fact that the term "therapy" is far too broad to describe the various forms of treatment it takes.