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Crap Local News

@CrapLocalNews

Crap local news from across the UK and beyond.

Joined December 2016
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Nicky Poole (@crap_local_news) on Threads

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The day we moved in to our first home a burglar tried to drill the lock and burgle us. Unfortunately, we thought it was the locksmith we'd ordered and offered him a cup of tea and asked if he'd like to try the keys.
Slarty Bartfast (@Poppy_yyyyyyyy) profile pictureSlarty Bartfast
@Poppy_yyyyyyyy8 Feb 2023
I’m such a fucking wet wipe. A bloke was just trying to break into my car when I walked back to it and I said “excuse me, sorry, I think that’s my car” 😭
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Crap Local News@CrapLocalNews2 Dec 2017
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#ENGWAL #RIPReece
Mat Williams (@beer_mat) profile pictureMat Williams@beer_mat29 Nov 2022
Please join & spread the word. A minute's applause on 31st minute of the England game tonight for the life of an absolute legend, loved by everyone, who was stolen from us #WalesvsEngland #RIPReece
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Honest appliances = microwave, washing machine, oven: 😇 Glass doors 😇 Can see what they’re doing 😇 Trustworthy Dishonest appliances = toaster, dishwasher, fridge: 🤥 Can’t see what they’re doing 🤥 Fuck shit up behind closed doors 🤥 Sneaky
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Jonathan 🇺🇦 (@GayToryJon) profile picture
Jonathan 🇺🇦@GayToryJon25 Jun 2021
Paging @CrapLocalNews 😂😂
This Post is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more
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Fesshole🧻 (@fesshole) profile picture
Fesshole🧻
@fesshole10 Jun 2021
Whenever I have beans on toast, or even think about beans on toast, I sing "beans on toast" to the tune of Duran Duran's "Girls on Film". And now you're doing it.
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Breaking news via @LeightonCastle
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I can only applaud the Facebook algorithm for realising that “real life things that could’ve happened on Frasier” is my exact personal news niche.
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Type your home town into Google news (-covid) and post a screenshot of your favourite news story
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Ea-Nasir (@alistaircoleman) profile picture
Ea-Nasir@alistaircoleman4 Jun 2021
Replying to @CrapLocalNews
Nothing much, just a small stoush about pie. gazettelive.co.uk/news/teess…
Fury after Morrisons wouldn't sell couple meat pies before 9am

Fury after Morrisons wouldn't sell couple meat pies before 9am

The meat pies were within sniffing distance - but staff told Linda and Tony Gilkes at 8.45am they could not be sold for another 15 minutes

gazettelive.co.uk
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Crap Local News@CrapLocalNews2 Nov 2017
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Crap Local News@CrapLocalNews7 Aug 2017
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You've been kidnapped by Parisian sex traffickers. The last person you @-ed: who is going to rescue you The 2nd pic on your camera roll: what they're going to use
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