Vark Void 🧙🏽‍♂️ 👁🐽👁

for it is in God, and God alone, that i have found the source of my strength i have pledged myself, not to other men, not to women, not to machines, but to God, and God alone for God is the only one who has brought meaning to my wounds and bleeding and God is the only one, for who i would gladly accept all the pain in my life that i have experienced for God i hang upside down from the tree and drip my blood into eternity when others speak of suffering, it's hard for me to take them seriously, of course we all suffer in each our own way but when others assume that i have not suffered because my heart remains open and my mouth remains both defiant and spiritual for that they do not know me, and never will in everything i have walked through, from my childhood traumas to addictions and violence and paranoia and incarceration, to the excruciating pain i must continuously endure for 1/3 of the year for all their calls for my suffering, i imagine they would have shattered and perished much long ago if they had experienced but a fraction of the same what they don't get, is that my suffering is what keeps my heart open and my tongue dancing for the devil has seen me covered in blood, the devil has seen me locked in chains, the devil has seen me on the floor involuntarily vomiting in pain and when the devil asked me 'if i had had enough and was ready to surrender', all i could do was laugh and mock the devil's name for i have swallowed my pain, and i regenerate from my wounds even while they are still bleeding even with blood in my mouth and fatal pain in my temple, when i am asked if i have had enough, then my answer is always "is that the best you can do?" for i surrender to no one but God and for God i will gladly hang and bleed for as long as it takes, and i would gladly do it all again for with God i am liberated, in God i am free, with God i live in a dimension where nobody can touch me i don't do it for the audience, i don't do it for fame, i do it all only for God, for i know God will always carry my name and spirit, lifting my when i falter, protecting me from what i can't see, and repairing me whenever my compass is distorted for with God i am never lacking from God my plate is always full in God my spirit is soaring God always bestowing my existence with meaning i don't look at what others do for inspiration i don't listen to others for advice and i don't take from others to fill my pride with God my inspiration is never lacking from God my direction is always guided in God my needs are always fulfilled with God i am liberated from God my soul receives its eternal becoming in God i am exalted for God i do it for God i will continue to do it and for God i would do it all again

the more psychologically developed you are, the more prominent and strong your sense of self becomes this is what is known as ‘individuation’ and in any psychologically healthy individual, their sense of self compounds and evolves with time in correspondence with their physical age it is the case for both children and the mentally disturbed and psychologically infantile that their lack of self is largely lacking as natural with children they will be found to role play, young boys like to pretend to be their father, young girls like to pretend to be their mother, they without yet a coherent sense of self, are much more impressionable to their surroundings and will feel it like an imprint, like a glove over their naked unclothed mind they try to wear their impressions this is natural for development in children, but it is not natural in adults, if you are an adult and you are walking around taking deep imprints from others and wearing them like clothes, then it is more than likely that your psychology is infantile again to reference my earlier post with schizophrenics, affirmation nonsense, and how they are compulsive liars without a coherent sense of self - it is obvious a lack of self-controller is found in their mind, they absorb the impressions around them and will try to be people they think have a strong self this psychological stunted growth is obvious when recognized from a psychoanalytical perspective, the infantilism is the hallmark of the mentally disturbed mind, like a child, like a little boy that pretends to be his father, it is cute in a child, but when a grown man tries to mimic another man and then undermine and socially downplay said man afterwards, then something is deeply wrong, an infantilism of psychology what actually happens in a true advanced psychology and strong self is that the self compounds so far that the mind becomes like a layered multi-agent system that acts as one self, the advanced human mind is like its own ‘ant colony’ the advanced mind can self-start and can create ‘trail-building’ effects, this is impossible for anyone but the advanced mind, as the less advanced individual requires constant consensus input around them to trail build, they are ants that need a colony to trail build with rather than being their own ant-colony what the human mind truly is, is a self-assembling superintelligence, it is order emerging from chaos, and the individuation process is the process of going from the non-coherent self as a child to compounding and integrating experience and developing in correspondence to age until in a state of ‘healthy vital psychological development’ that the individual’s self becomes so strong in adulthood that they have become their own ant-colony I.e. the individual that has both laboring selves within it, commanding selves, researching selves, orchestrating selves, and so on it is a layered multi-agent system, an ant-colony of self, and the further a person gets in the individuation process, the more powerful this ant-colony of self becomes