Coleen Rooney: WAGagtha Christie.

You need to take photo ID to vote tomorrow. A polling card is not enough. Take photo ID! Vote!

Register to vote and then vote just please vote (them out) gov.uk/register-to-vote

This morning’s painting.

Folkestone has gone Green! This was highly unexpected and very exciting.

A lot of friends are urging me to protect my Wagatha Christie joke. Am I getting lawyered up? It’s all in here: theguardian.com/commentisfre…

Well this isn’t ideal is it?

Over at Instagram I have been doing stupid paintings. Due to a number of requests they are now available as prints. Do have a look. Thank you! Artijoke.co.uk

Someone once told me to never change, which means that all but the simplest of train journeys are now impossible.

Just imagine 24 hours where you weren’t forced to think about the Conservative Party. Imagine.

I must have missed the bit where Cincinnatus got a private jet back from the Caribbean in a desperate bid to become relevant again.

I’m writing topical TV comedy today.

I’ve got a fair amount of stamps and cash that will be unusable tomorrow.

She was still a better Education Secretary than Gavin Williamson.

My piece for today’s Observer: theguardian.com/commentisfre…

I wish to make a brief statement. There seems to be some confusion over the origination of the phrase ‘Wagatha Christie’. The record proves my claim, and I am willing to take this to the High Court to have my satisfaction.

As the trial begins, a commemoration of my finest moment. Complete with mis-spelling.

Today I was given out stumped off a no ball.

Just done a bit of whittling. I think I made my point.