
Representative, @RealDailyMojo Asian Delegation. Stated views are my own. Good night, Doc Thompson. #WhatILearnedToday #MalinakMiracle
Joined February 2010
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#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips
Unofficial analysis of the midterms from the office of the Daily Mojo Asian Delegation:
Heads we lose. Tails we lose.
America might run on Dunkin’, but I tend to run on whiskey and spite.
#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips
#WhatILearnedToday
Thanks to @PolitiBunny, I had to give this a whirl.
@realBradStaggs and @RealRonPhillips…your turn.
From the “No Shit” files
#WhatILearnedToday
Keeping your fridge and freezer closed is the best way to keep food fresh for as long as possible. - @nbcselected nbcnews.com/select/shopping/…
#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips
1950s: “I’ll bet there will be flying cars in the future.”
2026:
DeuceFive retweeted
At Ground Zero, after the last living person was pulled out, the search dogs stopped eating.
So the police did something nobody had written down in any manual.
They climbed into the rubble, lay down, and pretended to be alive.
More than 300 dogs worked the World Trade Center site. They came from every corner of the country, on trucks and in cargo holds, with handlers who had been trained to do one thing. Find people who are still breathing under the ground.
That is what a search and rescue dog is built for. Not bodies. Life. They are trained on live human scent. When they find it, they bark, they dig, they light up, and the handler rewards them, and the whole thing means something.
The last living person recovered from Ground Zero was a woman named Genelle Guzman-McMillan. She had been buried for 27 hours. A dog found her.
She was the last.
After that, the dogs kept going out on twelve-hour shifts, across sixteen acres of smoldering steel, at temperatures that burned their paws, and they found nobody.
Nobody.
Day after day.
The handlers noticed it first. The dogs were changing. Their tails were down. They were not eating. They would come off the pile and lie flat and not look at anyone.
A veterinarian named Cindy Otto, who spent ten days there working night shifts to care for the animals, put it plainly. The dogs had been sent to find life, and every day they were finding the opposite.
It was breaking them.
An NYPD officer named Famiglietti described what happened next.
They pulled everybody off the rubble. Then they asked for volunteers.
The volunteers, police officers, went out into the debris and hid themselves. Under beams. In voids. Curled up in pockets of concrete. They were told to lie down like they were hurt. Then the handlers sent the dogs in.
Picture that.
A grown man with a badge, a man who had spent the last week pulling friends out of that same pile, lying down in it on purpose. Face down. Holding still. Waiting for a dog.
And the dog comes over the top of the wreckage, and catches the scent, and barks, and digs, and finds a person who is warm and moving and alive.
And the handler says good girl, good boy, and the whole team celebrates.
They called them mock finds.
They did it for the dogs.
They did it so the dogs would remember what they were for.
One of those dogs was a two-year-old golden retriever named Bretagne. She came from Texas with her handler, Denise Corliss. It was her first deployment. They worked ten days at Ground Zero. They found no survivors.
But firefighters would come off the pile, stone-faced, not speaking, and see the dog, and something would break open in them. They would kneel down. They would put their face in her fur.
One day a man walked up to Bretagne and started petting her. He told Corliss his best friend loved golden retrievers.
Corliss asked where his friend was.
The man pointed at the pile.
"He's in there somewhere."
He kept petting the dog.
Bretagne went on to work Hurricane Katrina and Rita. She retired at 10. She was the last known surviving search dog of 9/11.
On June 6, 2016, at age 16, she was carried into a veterinary office in Texas to be put to sleep.
Outside, a dozen firefighters from her fire department stood in a line in their dress uniforms, in the heat, and saluted as she went past.
They draped her in an American flag on the way out.
Three hundred dogs went into that pile looking for the living.
They found one.
And when they could not find any more, the men they worked beside laid down in the rubble and let themselves be found, so the dogs would not lose heart.
That is the whole story of Ground Zero, really.
Nobody could save the dead.
So they saved each other. 🇺🇸
#WhatILearnedToday
This is just damn brilliant.
In Georgia I entered a Chick-fil-A drive-thru line of forty cars.
I turned off my engine. I prepared to wait the way my ancestors waited out a siege.
Six minutes later I was holding chicken.
I do not know what happened to the other thirty-nine cars. The line moved like water that had somewhere to be.
A young woman walked between the cars taking orders on a small tablet, on foot, in the sun, smiling like the sun was her idea.
I said thank you.
She said, "My pleasure."
I did not think about it then. I should have.
At the window I thanked the young man for the food.
"My pleasure."
I thanked him for the sauce.
"My pleasure."
I thanked him for thanking me—
"My pleasure."
I want to be clear about what was happening.
This was a duel.
In Japan I trained in courtesy for forty years. Bowing angles. Seasonal greetings. The correct depth of apology for seventeen distinct situations.
I was a white belt in that drive-thru.
I escalated. I used my most formal English. I thanked him on behalf of my entire family line.
He said, "My pleasure," and gave me extra sauce.
Extra sauce. Unprovoked. A counterattack.
I returned the next day to reclaim my honor.
It was Sunday. The restaurant was closed.
All of them were closed. In the entire country. They close every Sunday, and they have closed every Sunday since the beginning, because the founder made a promise, and the promise did not expire when he did.
I stood in the empty parking lot and understood I had lost twice.
Once to a teenager with sauce.
Once to a man I will never meet, who kept his word so long it became a building.
In my country we say a samurai's word is his life.
I had never seen a restaurant say it back.
I returned Monday. I ordered. And this time I said it first, before she could.
"My pleasure."
She smiled and said, "It sure is."
America, I surrender.
It was my pleasure.
#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips
I think I know what Mitch McConnell was up to over the weekend.
🤖 Made with AI
#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips
Can’t listen for long today. Business is picking up at the office this week.
🤖 Made with AI
#WhatILearnedToday
I think we all just need to take a break today and take a cue from Bard and just eat chocolate chip cookies all day.
I’ve decided I’m a stress eater. Nothing is as comforting as a chocolate chip cookie. #WhatILearnedToday
#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips
Gearing up for the 4th here at the office of the Daily Mojo Asian Delegation.
🤖 Made with AI
DeuceFive retweeted
Home time. The USA have been fantastic hosts! We’ve loved the welcome from every city and state we’ve been in 🇺🇸
If you want to hate the world, watch the news. If you want to love the world, travel it. 🌎❤️🏴✈️🇺🇸 #scotland #fifaworldcup – at Fort Lauderdale, FL
DeuceFive retweeted
It genuinely amused me that people think replacing Starmer will make things better.
From Boris Johnson's election onwards, we've been shuffling the bollards on the Titanic.
You have to actually change direction if you want to avoid crashing into the iceberg:
- End Net Zero
- Make business viable again
- Get welfare under control
- Fund defence
- Ensure equality under the law
- Arrest criminals and keep them in jail
- Deport illegal immigrants and close the border
- Bring the civil service to heel
Burnham will become as unpopular as Starmer within months since he isn't going to do any of that.
#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips
I was trying insulin into my arm this morning, and the first two attempts failed because the needle tips bent - so I guess this basically means I’m Wolverine now.
#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips
I mean - are we 100% certain dinosaurs didn’t look like this?


















