Because what I say is occasionally funny, and junk. I have not ever played professional football.

Joined December 2011
NFL Redzone, more like NFL YellowFlagzone, am I right? #redzone
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37000 for a final, at a ground that holds 48000. That's embarrassing. #AFLFinals #AFLSwansLions
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Real professional, AFL. Real professional. #AFLFinals
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Literal comedy anytime Mark Keane goes near the football. Go back to Belfast you Welsh potato!!! #AFLFreoCrows
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Mark Keane is a hilariously awful footballer. Like sure, he can play football, and occasionally play it kinda ok. But even when he does play ok, he's still hilariously awful. It's difficult to explain. But objectively hilarious how awful he is at football. #AFLFreoCrows
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Literal brain-dead morons: "nObOdY wAtChEs aFlW" The same literal brain-dead morons when an AFLW game is scheduled to stand alone on a Thursday night: "hnnnnngghhh tHeRe'S nO fOoTy tO wAtCh tOnIgHt" #AFLWHawksDees
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Only a Sydney crowd (if you can call it a crowd) would unironically sing the "So good! So good! So good!" part of the worst song in existence whilst the game is actually on. Deeply unserious club. #AFLSwansCrows
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Haynes. Young. Evans. Ainsworth. Florent. Reidy. McGovern. Cerra. Has any team ever played a bigger bunch of recycled duds? #AFLFreoBlues
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Good. We *should* be beating this mob of goobers and spuds by *at least* 50 points. #AFLFreoBlues
201
Cowan 4 week suspension for being a dirty dog. Still couldn't possibly give Freo a free kick inside forward 50 though, that's literally an impossibility against this mob who get gifted absolute arse every single time. #AFLFreoBlues
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Hey @kayosports, which incompetent intern came up with the caption for this graphic? Not surprised you all have literally no idea about *any* sport unless it's NRL which you're constantly trying to ram down everyone's throats. #AFLEaglesFreo
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Murphy Reid, tries dinky soccer kick, doesn't come off. Lyon: "What a terrible player, get him off the ground". Nick Daicos, tries dinky soccer kick, comes off. Lyon: *cums in pants* I'm going to marry this man tonight. #AFLPiesFreo
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You know where it's not absolutely flooding down with freezing, miserable, game-ruining rain? You know where it's going to be high 20s and sunny ALL Gather Round weekend? Perth. Just sayin' #AFLCrowsBlues
211
Tom Stewart has been a brilliant player. He currently looks like an absolute liability. #AFLCatsFreo
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228
So Carlton fans have been able to enjoy(?) 2 games already to open the season, before 40% of the entire reminder of teams have even played 1 game. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE @AFL????????? #AFLBluesTigers
151
Retire Lynch, Broad, Miller, and Balta, then the Richmond kids might be fun to watch in prime-time. Carlton have been the worst team in the league for 30 years and should only ever get 1pm Sunday timeslots at Marvel from now until eternity. #AFLBluesTigers
254
Is it just me, or is the game clock consistently running for an extra couple of seconds after each play is called dead? #DENvsNE
222
If I may channel my inner @hasumpstuffedup: #AFLWHawksFreo Umpired abysmally
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Mark Keane playing like a true All-Australian 🤪 #AFLCrowsHawks
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