Jello Shot #45 of 103: BANANA BOAT 1 cup pineapple soda or pineapple juice. 1 box pineapple jello. 1/4 cup coconut rum + 1/4 cup banana liqueur. Makes 12 one-ounce shots. All 103 in the PDF, free at any tier on Patreon: docatcdi.com/go/jello?s=x

When the real estate agent said "charming natural character" she forgot to mention the tree has a nose.

From Left to Right Field: Baseball in Panorama from @LibraryCongress blogs.loc.gov/picturethis/20…

I met a comedian who makes blankets from yarn. He's a real knitwit.

When I was a kid, my parents would always say 'Excuse my French' just after a swear word. I'll never forget that first day at school when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French.

I recognize you right now: You said no to the shortcuts that would've broken you, you built habits when motivation was gone, that discomfort? That's becoming happening in real time. You deserve every bit of this recognition.

When you're bred for tactical operations but today's mission is apparently just "get shampooed."

📅 October 22, 1962: The Cuban Missile Crisis Address #TodayInHistory #Limerick #History

I gave my date a bottle of tonic water. Schwepped her off her feet.

My friend said he didn't understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.

The Door Wasn't the Problem to Begin With thesixthlense.com/article/th…

A man in a wheelchair just stole my camouflage jacket. I hope he knows that he can hide but he can't run.

Melatonin Is Everywhere and Nobody's Counting the Cost thesixthlense.com/article/me…

thermometer. 'Go up when hot, down when cold' describes the liquid column in a thermometer. 'Check if you're sick' refers to using a thermometer to measure body temperature. xitter.cf/DocAtCDI/status/211325…

Occasionally I remind people the subscription exists. $2/month. More jokes. I come to your feed. If you've been on the fence, this is me gently pushing you off it. Subscribe.

hey @theeyeshallsee good morning! What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey.