Abdulrafiu Halimah Adeshewa

DATING 101!!! Read & Adapt!!! Another reminder to always make thoughtful and intentional decisions when choosing someone to commit to!!! There are certain things in life you have absolutely no control over, like You do not choose the family you are born into... You do not choose the country you are raised in… You do not choose your genetics, natural abilities or starting point in life… You do not choose the economic decisions politicians make… You do not choose the kind of manager you have at work… You cannot always predict the immigration policies that may affect your future… But one of the few major life decisions you have some control over is the person you choose to build a life with and eventually marry!!! The world is already a difficult place. Life will test you in ways you cannot always prepare for. There will be financial pressures, career disappointments, unexpected changes, business failures, immigration uncertainties and seasons when everything seems confusing. In those moments, your home and family should be one of the places where you find strength, comfort, understanding and peace, not another source of constant struggle!!! Do not make a lifelong commitment based solely on superficial attractions. Money and physical beauty are important, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with appreciating them. However, neither can independently sustain a healthy marriage. No matter how wealthy he is or how exceptionally beautiful she may be, if there is no genuine desire, emotional connection and willingness to build a life together, that union will eventually become difficult to sustain. You may initially become fascinated by the lifestyle, the comfort, the money or the feel of the well-shaped bumbum or breasts. But hedonistic adaptation explains why people eventually get used to what once excited them. The excitement becomes familiar, the lifestyle becomes normal, and the things that once impressed you may no longer carry the same weight. And that see/finish stage is when the deeper qualities of a relationship or marriage begin to matter. You need someone you genuinely want, someone whose presence you appreciate beyond what they can provide or how they look, someone big on making life better and easier for you both. Someone you are willing to understand, consider, respect and grow with. Do not expect a marriage to thrive simply because you or the person you have chosen has money, beauty or social status. A successful union requires two people who are genuinely interested in doing life together. Choose someone you can navigate life’s challenges with, someone that is fine being bored and can stay sane while going through shege. Someone you can have difficult conversations with, make sacrifices with, disagree with respectfully and still work towards a common goal. Choose genuine desire… Choose consideration… Choose emotional maturity… Choose shared values & goals… Choose family values… Choose someone who understands that marriage is not just about enjoying the good seasons but also about standing together when life becomes difficult… A healthy marriage is not dependent on a perfect economy, wealth or a comfortable environment. Two reasonable, intentional and committed adults can build a beautiful home in almost any part of the world, provided they are both willing to do the work. Marry a reasonable human being you can live in any part of the world with and still rest assured your union would thrive healthily and would be unshaken. Ultimately, the person you marry will influence the quality of many of your life’s experiences. Do not take that decision lightly. This is one of the foundations of a healthy, fulfilling and long-lasting union. As always, I am rooting for you!!!