ₛₒy ᵤₙ bₒₜ ₑ ᵢₐ

dear november, be gentle with both of us, but especially with her. may you bless her days with love, success, tranquillity, and health, both physical and mental. may life be extraordinarily kind to her, fill her days with wonder, and make the remainder of 2026 something beautiful

i merely wish to clarify that, should anyone frighten me this Halloween, my greatest fears are witty, outgoing, intellectually stimulating women with emotional intelligence, a wicked sense of humour and an unapologetically perverted mind. good heavens. oh, no, please i'm scared.

Happy Halloween. 🎃🕯️🕷️🦇 to my future wife: keep the kisses to a minimum, stay out of trouble, and absolutely no Halloween hookups. wait for me. please and thank you.

“well, at least I don’t like men.” what an adorable display of ignorance. poor, stupid soul. she has yet to realise that women will be her intellectual, emotional, and quite possibly spiritual undoing.

she’s a 10, but she overthinks and overanalyses everything, jumps to the dumbest fucking conclusions, runs away, and survives 8 anxiety or panic attacks a day. she’s me.

i always talk to the October full moon about her, asking it to watch over her and keep her safe.

i hate overanalysing, i hate overthinking, i hate feeling everything to excess, i hate crying over everything, i hate being unbearably fervent, i hate possessing a soul far too tender for its own good, i hate how profoundly everything affects me, and, and, and, and, and —

another fucking, godforsaken Sunday without taking my woman to a museum, coming home to fuck her senseless, then spending the night with her curled up in my arms, watching films as i kiss, caress, and worship her like she's the last sacred thing in this damned world. i wanna die.

i want her to wake me in the dead of night because she needs my kisses because she wants me to devour her mouth and remind her how desperately i desire her, as if i could never get enough of her. no hour is too late, no sleep too sacred when it comes to surrendering myself to her

i want to kiss every one of her beauty marks, to lose myself in the geography of her skin, taking my time to find each one, trace it with my fingertips, kiss it, commit it to memory. to explore her with such hunger that the rest of the world becomes irrelevant.

out of my way. i’m ready to fall for a woman who is attentive, intense, emotionally intelligent, available, and unapologetically hungry for me. someone who takes emotional responsibility, communicates openly, and knows how to make me feel desired in every sense of the word.

when i said “fuck you” to her because i’m an insufferable bitch, and she replied “fuck me” because she knows how much i like her.

how can i have friends and a wonderful girlfriend who is completely obsessed with me without ever going out or talking to anyone? Google Search. ChatGPT.

there is something profoundly beautiful about being remembered in the smallest of details. about discovering that a fragment of yourself has found a place in another person's thoughts without your ever having asked it to.

me when a woman makes an even more ironic, sarcastic remark than i ever could and makes me feel like she either hates me or could completely dominate me.

if you think that simply by being a woman, making me laugh, giving me your attention, possessing an intellectually stimulating mind, and living terribly far away from me, you could make me grow fond of you and eventually fall in love with you, then i'm afraid you're right.

how do i get a “good morning, my love. i hope you slept wonderfully. i’ll have breakfast delivered to you. please, my darling, take care of yourself, because a world without you is unbearable. you’re my heart, my soul, and my reason for breathing”? Google Search. ChatGPT.

i have a piece of advice for you. if you start catching feelings for her… run. disappear. block her. move to another country. actually, no. fall madly in love. get obsessed. make her your whole universe. breathe for her. wait, no. get the hell away from her. no, yes, no, yes.

yes, yes, yes. ask me questions. ask me about politics, philosophy, history, art, and the contradictions of human nature. tell me what you think is wrong with the world, what you would change, and what you refuse to accept. yes, that's how you make me fall in love.