👽🤝🦋🤝🐸

nyc
Joined February 2010
Time to bike in clumsy Halloween costume
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For sure my guy, it's important to me that your vision feels rocked with
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Benny Feldman retweeted
I will never virtue signal for clout. Comedians that do that are such sell outs. Anyway, use my promo code for this app that lets you gamble on war
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I am aware I look like the goofy movie cheese guy
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Benny Feldman retweeted
you should watch this if you enjoy cracking up
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Benny Feldman retweeted
people talk a lot about ‘the current state of standup comedy’ and i want to share benny feldman’s butterfly pavilion is a ray of hope
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Benny Feldman retweeted
My friend Benny is one of the most inventive and wonderful up and coming comics in the country. Watch his special. You won't be disappointed
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Benny Feldman retweeted
this guy is on the Mt Rushmore of one-liner writers, and is the most alive guy on there
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One of the most successful things both parties have achieved is convincing Americans that our foreign policy has absolutely nothing to do with our domestic policy, and that the woes of the world aren't directly tied to our own.
I'm borrowing money to keep up with increasing medical costs, food and bills but I'm getting calls, messages and leaflets on my door talking about genocide? Are you kidding me? Fuck you and your bullshit genocide cries. IDGAF! I'm tired of it.
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Benny Feldman retweeted
People constantly think I stole my own jokes lol
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Random people will sometimes try to give me a joke for my act, usually a bad pun. Can you imagine poking your head into a kitchen at a restaurant and being like. You guys should make chicken nuggets. Just be sure to credit me
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One thing about sexting is that it puts all the horny emojis in your recently used emojis. So then you go to someone in a normal capacity and it’s like. No I don’t want to text my mom 💩🤡 🥸
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If you thought bird poop was gross already, get this. It’s worms
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For sale, anthropomorphic baby shoes, dead
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JK Rowling’s transphobia has ruined Harry Potter. That is a shame, there was a real magic in the fantasy of it. As a kid, I always loved imagining going to private coed boarding school. Inheriting a big pile of money. Drinking non alcoholic beer. Owning a little slave guy
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Harry Potter kept Kreacher . He freed someone else’s slave, Dobby, and then was like. Well I can’t trust my slave so he’s staying enslaved
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