sticks

Pornhub niggas: WHAT'S HER NAME?

I wish shed come sit on my face but she only likes me on ig and twitter 😧

Stfu, this is 90% filter. Elephant probably wasn't even actually there xitter.gq/ElephantsDaiIy/status/…

Doctor: CONGRATULATIONS IT'S A GIRL! Me: BITCH YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD A TUMOR! *single mothers her with the speed of 100 rappers*

This obnoxious chick asked me to get her kid a toy to play with while they took a bath so I brought them a toaster

Everybody be so proud to admit they eat ass until they get freaky looking bumps on their face

This chick asked me for $20 so I told her to suck my dick. She yelled "DO I LOOK LIKE A HOE?" I replied "DO I LOOK LIKE A BANK?"

This generation doesn't have an alcohol problem, we just sell rehab xD

*opens twitter*

I couldn't pilot a plane. I'd be the first one out the door if shit went even slightly wrong.

Put it in her booty. Boom, next problem xitter.gq/WORLDSTARNOW/status/77…

A hooker sucks a thousand dicks then one day she wakes up and boom! She's a madam at a brothel. Never give up kids.

I'm super upbeat and peppy to people before they've had their coffee now cuz I saw suicide squad and am choosing to be a bad guy.

I had to leave her cuz she'd squeeze my dick like playdough

I'm an optimistic person so I see the glass dildo as half in

Bitches who take selfies of their face and put the peach emoji make me wanna come spank them and make them go to bed early. ASS OR GTFO!!

SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A REALITY TV SHOW. HE HAS A GIFT DAMMIT! xitter.gq/TheDeerSquad/status/76…

Pussy: OMG I WILL BLOCK YOU SO FAST. I WILL HIT THAT BLOCK BUTTON WITH THE SPEED OF A THOUSAND SUPER HEROS Me: