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Garland (@Garland06) profile picture

Garland

@Garland06

All I want is a great taco and an even better beer - Abe Lincoln

 Where ever my wife tells me
Joined August 2011
  • Tweets2.3K
  • Following172
  • Followers40
397Media
Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)Photo by Garland (@Garland06)
.@EmersonLotzia did the Lions just do a human centipede touchdown celebration?!?!?!? They need to score again so we can see Two girls, one cup.
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Ah what?!?!
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Ooopps. Before the phone is actually released.
MagBak (@magbaksays) profile pictureMagBak
@magbaksaysAug 12
All-new Google Pixel 11 Elite case. Strongest magnets, finger loop, Magsafe charging and more.

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.@EmersonLotzia what did you do?
Noah Kahan (@NoahKahan) profile pictureNoah Kahan
@NoahKahanJun 27
If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom lmao I’ve pooped my pants as much as the next 29 year old but you guys gotta understand there’s a venue worker out there with a 1000 yard stare after dealing with that
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Absolutely devastating news. RIP Rowdy. Heal of a wheelman.
NASCAR (@NASCAR) profile pictureNASCAR
@NASCARMay 21
We are saddened and heartbroken to share the news of the passing of Kyle Busch, a two-time Cup champion and one of our sport's greatest and fiercest drivers. He was 41 years old. We extend our deepest condolences to the Busch family, Richard Childress Racing and the entire motorsports community.
Image from NASCAR (@NASCAR)
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Unless Pete is fighting a toddler he will never be punching down.
frank 🐀 (@frankdoesntweet) profile picturefrank 🐀@frankdoesntweetMay 4
Replying to @PeteBlackburn
Punching down is a bad look Pete
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That's an amazing analogy. Thanks for sharing.
Rob Bradford (@bradfo) profile pictureRob Bradford
@bradfoApr 26
Woke up to a text from a former Red Sox player who summed up Saturday's moves: 'It's like shitting your pants and changing your shirt.'
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You would shoot yourself too if you had to travel through the Philly airport and deal with the assholes that work there. Easily in the running for worst airport in the US. @EmersonLotzia thoughts?
Breaking911 (@Breaking911) profile pictureBreaking911
@Breaking911Mar 27
🚨 BREAKING: Jill Biden's Secret Service agent shoots himself while accompanying former first lady through Philadelphia airport -Daily Mail
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
The agent shot himself in the leg due to an accidental misfire. The former first lady was not present during the incident. cnn.com/2026/03/27/pol…
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I'll give it a try. Though I am not sure I will be able to tweet how it went from the afterlife.
Emerson Lotzia, Jr. (@EmersonLotzia) profile pictureEmerson Lotzia, Jr.
@EmersonLotziaMar 10
Next time, don’t tell your wife to calm down, try this instead:
Image from Emerson Lotzia, Jr. (@EmersonLotzia)
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.@EmersonLotzia these were the eyes I guess.
New England Patriots (@Patriots) profile pictureNew England Patriots
@PatriotsFeb 8
Eyes on 7.
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.@EmersonLotzia I am sorry about the Jags and Bills but here is a little treat. Laces Out!
Image from Garland (@Garland06)
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.@EmersonLotzia good luck tomorrow. Not the Jags... You. I don't envy you. One side of the family will be pissed the other very happy.
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BE HERE FOR PLAYOFF FOOTBALL AT @GILLETTESTADIUM 🗣️ Repost to win 2 tickets to #LACvsNE: bit.ly/4bpnABA
Image from New England Patriots (@Patriots)
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Mr.@elonmusk please delete this.
Emerson Lotzia, Jr. (@EmersonLotzia) profile pictureEmerson Lotzia, Jr.
@EmersonLotzia29 Dec 2025
My biggest takeaway from this Eagles-Bills game is Tom Brady’s botox has him looking like a temu Jim Carrey.
Image from Emerson Lotzia, Jr. (@EmersonLotzia)
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Hey @EmersonLotzia High-Speed Pocket Hot Dog Cooker | Hackaday share.google/6BFGrge6vdRcWPh…
High-Speed Pocket Hot Dog Cooker

High-Speed Pocket Hot Dog Cooker

Few of us complain that hot dogs take too long to cook, because we buy them from a stand. Still, if you do have to make your own dog, it can be a frustrating problem. To solve this issue, [Joel Cre…

hackaday.com
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Little known fact. The teams in the video are made up entirely of his kids.
Emerson Lotzia, Jr. (@EmersonLotzia) profile pictureEmerson Lotzia, Jr.
@EmersonLotzia9 Dec 2025
philip rivers coming out of retirement to save the colts season
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Hey @Skittles, my daughter told me she had a present for me, "Juicy M&Ms" 😂 😂😂
Image from Garland (@Garland06)
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I can't wait for @EmersonLotzia tweet pointing us to a website learning where to watch ESPN if you have YTTV.
John Reed (@J_Reed20) profile pictureJohn Reed@J_Reed206 Nov 2025
Get ready to learn Emerson Lotzia pal @EmersonLotzia
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.@PeteBlackburn this just came through my email
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Live look at @EmersonLotzia walking down the rest of Newbury after his encounter
Emerson Lotzia, Jr. (@EmersonLotzia) profile pictureEmerson Lotzia, Jr.
@EmersonLotzia16 Oct 2025
shoutout to the homeless lady on newbury street who just yelled "NICE LEGS" at me … your boy’s still got it 😎
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