Punished Piece of Shit

As an attorney it became so tiresome defending public masturbators, stalkers, domestic abusers, drunk drivers and sex pests. I knew I had to make a change. Which is why I stopped representing myself in criminal court.

When I sleep I do not dream. It’s like the end of the sopranos. Just nothingness. I don’t think I have a human soul

When I was young some bodybuilders told me that in order to get jacked I needed to eat my own cum. A decade later I found out it has almost no protein in it and it really doesn’t have much nutritional value at all. So now when I eat it it’s because I enjoy the flavor

I saw that some people in the “brony” fandom like to anthropomorphize the horses into girls but then find that they aren’t sexually attracted to them anymore in their girl forms

I don’t think there is anything more romantic than chasing a frantic woman through the woods on a dark night

(Male pilot turning to his attractive female copilot): if you do not suck my dick I will tilt this plane completely vertical and launch it directly at the ground

If you are a woman and have ever liked any one of my posts something is wrong with you and I find that very attractive

It is extremely difficult to find an SS uniform that will fit an infant

Training a new group of service dogs to herd women around their own houses to stop them from slamming into their furniture every day and bruising themselves. Also they will fetch water and bark until the women drink it to stop them from shriveling up and dying

I haven’t looked into this plane crash yet but when I found out the pilot was a woman I just know it crashed because she was putting her damn mascara on while texting her situationship pics of her tits

This unironically got me a few more followers

Have to respect the solid branding and ideological harmony here

It’s been really tough when I’ve had sex lately because on one hand I want to cum as fast as possible so I can get back to shitposting but on the other hand I never want to give some smug woman the satisfaction of feeling like she satisfied me

Trying to decide which hot obvious-fbi glowie girl that follows me will be receiving a high definition image of my butthole today.

It’s rough out there for the sensitive 30 year old men being preyed upon by demon harpy 18 year old girls

If you want to know what my group chats are like imagine the business card scene from American Psycho except it’s with dick pics

Do you think that there was ever a serial killer that took a woman home and just wasn’t that into killing her anymore but he just had to keep doing it so the girl didn’t get the ick?