Home Guard D/G retweeted
Monkey shatters zoo glass with sharpened stone in impressive prison break attempt gizmo.do/cOBYZ9Q
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Doing nothing all day seems nice until you’ve actually done nothing all day and then wish you had.
Home Guard D/G retweeted
A few delays with Ryanair this evening. It's not caused by the lack of pilots due to strike action, but by Ryanair dropping off replacement pilots 80 kilometres from where the planes are.
Home Guard D/G retweeted
When did reading the web become so shit? We just used to read.
Now it’s:
accept cookies or manage preferences
Pop up window subscribe to our newsletter.
Annoying pop up ads
Sometimes music and video starts playing.
Even worse on mobile devices.
Home Guard D/G retweeted
242 points to win the World Series as the Triple Tigers march on to the plate. Black Cats have Roy Story for an early strikeout and the slug rate is low for those Brits... #LETSPLAYBALL #CWC19
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Unfortunately we’ve had to divert all flights due to issues with the many screens in the Control Tower. They’re being used to watch the Cricket World Cup, British Grand Prix and Wimbledon Men’s Final.
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Babysitters are teenagers who behave like grown-ups so that grown-ups can go out and behave like teenagers.
Home Guard D/G retweeted
My wife said she wanted to meet new people.
I took her to the hospital maternity ward...
Home Guard D/G retweeted
I stay up late because after 10PM is the only time of day that no one expects me to do anything for them.
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Is this the point of the tournament? 😍 👀
A 👏 for @stanwawrinka and @StefTsitsipas.
@rolandgarros | #RG19
Amazing Stan Stef Point
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Today’s tip:
When travelling on a motorway, you ARE allowed to use lane 1.
You should use lane 1 unless over taking a slower vehicle.
When you’ve got past said vehicle, you should move BACK into lane 1.
That is all!
#RoadSafety #Motorway #JustSaying
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Did @twickenhamcc 2nd XI get the W?
Of course - their no.11 snicked behind, @SouthgateCC's keeper drops it, and the ball hits his helmet... incredible stuff.
via @TheDanHough
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Knowing you have the next day off is more relaxing than having an actual day off.
Home Guard D/G retweeted
Morning Twitter ! 😜👋 #mondaymirth



















