Jason Two Lungs Fox

behind the wheel of a cold french fry

me when someone sneezes

my best tweet of all time turned 3 last week.

coulda been there, coulda done that

the worst part about becoming a father is knowing that all of the teeth are already in there

i have never know whose turn it is at stop signs. i just try to trust in a shared sense of anxiety that we must all go at one point or another.

listening to a loop of the first 2 seconds of Mr. Bojangles today

people say "reptilian brain" like it's a bad thing but have u ever met a lizard??

me assembling my wife's breast pump at 3am

sometimes you gotta poke the baby

this weekend there was a moth in our bathroom. it was on a different wall every time we went in were. we named it Stuart and got used to saying "hi Stuart", and "good morning Stuart!" but this morning Stuart was in the toilet. we had to pee on Stuart. goodbye Stuart.

i never blow my nose, just sniffle a lot

how many benadryls does it take to turn my childhood memories into jelly fish?

my wife says that virtue turn signaling is when i put on the turn signal in a situation where the only purpose is to prove that i do the right thing, which is using my turn signal

lint rollers haven't changed much in the last 30 years

how to unfollow friends and influence no one

if Bitcoin emissions continue at today's rate, Wordle will run out of five letter words by 2029, much sooner than scientists predicted