Author of The Slappening 👋 👋 👋
Joined April 2014
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Y is this called X... amirite!?!
oof, that was a bad joke.
*jumps down waterslide leading to a pool filled with mashed potatoes
I wrote a horror-humor book called The Slappening. Thanks in advance if you check it out!!
amazon.com/Slappening-Jamie-…
Jimmy Bernardi retweeted
13% done with The Slappening, by Jamie Benedi: What's Slappening? goodreads.com/user_status/sh…
Practical joke. Get a job as a long haul trucker. Speed. Get pulled over. Let cops open the back of the truck. It’s filled with farts 💨
Thought I signed up for a Zumba class but it’s actually a Roomba class. Now I’m just crawling around a room eating dirt.
Jimmy Bernardi retweeted
Alternate Ending to "Midnight in Paris"
Owen Wilson’s character is sitting in a padded cell, eating his own shit.
I can’t tell if these chicken McNuggets are getting thinner, or if my hands are just swelling from the salt