joseph cutshall

Our mouths evolved to chew meat. And yet our mouths are made of meat they MUST NOT CHEW. Reality is not binary, but paradox.

Me and the boys driving around listening to emotional music that really makes us feel something

When your kids have stomach issues, just remember the BRAT diet: - Bread - RATs

When someone writes EOD in a work email, you are free to interpret that as “End of Days”

Might eat this yogurt with chopsticks just to feel something

Really out here just trying not to become the sum of my coping mechanisms

You’re telling me a fish-man made this direct box??

Imagine Dragons makes music for people who listen to Imagine Dragons

Lizards must think we are so weak for needing to chew our food

Going through an interesting new phase in my life where a lot of food falls out of my mouth

Ed the dipshit hyena is the greatest character Disney ever created

I also have follow up questions to this, but at what point did opening “a can of worms” get just so completely psychotically out of hand?

If you want to know what raising boys is like, there’s a patch of bare dirt on the side of my house and my sons’ favorite thing to do is climb out our dog door and sit in the dirt patch and throw dirt on each other.

If you’re just a normal everyday person you don’t have to wash your legs. Nothing happens there.

What happened to the man who ate bad old fish? He got food poissoning *dies*

Evil @aplaceforowls like I’m smoking cigarettes with Damel, a tattoo of a camel

Harmony < HamRony!

Hang on, you’re telling me some raw men made these noodles??

Every man reaches a point in life where buying a pressure washer starts to make a lot of sense

What can I say 🤷🏻‍♂️

My life is an accidental experiment studying what happens to a person if all they eat is Cheetos and coffee