Well that was the longest gin blackout in history! #fiveyears

Why is there a tv show dedicated to trains? They always run late and they smell of piss! Richards loving it mind #trainspottingLIVE

So I was just sat here opening s bag of crisps and Myleene Klass was here like a shot! #famehungry

Why is @AmandaHolden on this morning?! Why wasn't I called if they needed a replacement?! #livid

I've had so much gin I can actually hear colours

I thought I bumped into Jeanette Krankie this morning but it was just @kategarraway hanging out her washing

I see Anthea Turner is still on tv...... So much for voodoo #healthlottery

My only memory of last night is doing the Macarena outside mcdonalds while @reallorraine was sick in a postbox

Woke up with a hangover and the first thing I saw was Caroline Flack on my tv..... Today is not going to be a good day #baconsandwich

Drunkenly emptying the kitchen drawers and shouting "THIS IS AN ART ATTACK,THIS IS ART ATTACK!!!" has not impressed Richard one bit #awkward

Considering recording a Christmas album this year with @denisefelch1 ..... Richards beside himself with giggles

That @danielodonnell1 though.... Swoon #donttellrichard

@aleksshirov2 @denisefelch1 something like that love

Drunkenly found my way into the neighbours wall cavity. Spent all day knocking the wall and making "woo" noises...They now have a priest in

Woke up in the neighbours hedge and crawled out just as they were eating dinner.... Disapproving looks all round #awkward

Just saw Myleene Klass running down Bond Street.... Someone must be opening an envelope

What's the easiest way to remove handcuffs? Asking for a friend

@JudyFinnigans: Apparently you are always 6ft away from a rat.... The same rule applies for Emeli Sandé