So I am here in the locals, sipping my Richot politely, when a man walks up to my table and greets me with a deep Luhya accent, “Apari, Ras? Nisongeako kidogo tukae, unajua wanaume wanafurahia wakiwa pamoja.” I just sense that this guy is a vibe. We sit together, and the first story he tells me is, “Okopa wanawake!” 😂😂 Mimi kuskia hivyo, naambia waiter aongeze tumbler tukunywe hii yangu as I get to hear what happened. So, jamaa ananiambia alichukua mumama wa Kiambu a few years ago. The lady managed to convince him wauze kashamba kake wafungue biashara. Jamaa akauza shamba, akapea bibi pesa, and the lady opened a salon. Sasa jamaa analalamika haoni pesa yoyote kutoka kwa huyo mama, yet he is still expected to sort out all the bills at the same time. But unajua funny part ni gani? Huyu madha ako na tumzigo tutatu, na my guy here hana hata pikin mmoja na yeye! Sasa ananiuliza afanye aje. Nimemshow, Tukunywe pombe kwanza, mambo ingine atajua mwenyewe. Watu wanakapitia huku nje jameni.

Life is funny. I’ve just seen a viral video of a guy who apparently graduated some years ago but is now collecting plastics, making about KSh 30 a day. Meanwhile, there’s a millionaire somewhere who never even set foot in a classroom. Hakuna formular ya maisha walai.