Chalk Talk

Mike Tomlin says leadership is lonely because assistants make suggestions, but the final decision and the responsibility always belongs to you “I just think more than anything, and this was told to me early on, and it’s a real thing, assistants make suggestions and head coaches make decisions. And you have to be comfortable with that.” “Certainly, you’ve got to take in information, and when you have experienced assistants like I did, that information is oftentimes very good. But you’ve got to be really comfortable with the fact that the responsibility is yours. The decisions are yours.” “And there’s a certain loneliness to leadership, and that’s okay. I discovered that, and really I discovered that I was okay with that. There is a certain loneliness with leadership, but it comes with the territory.”

Sean McVay says the toughest conversations require empathy and directness “You try to say it’s business, it’s personal, but it all is intermixed. I don’t think you can separate it. I think you acknowledge that tough decisions have to be made, but I think one of the things that I’d like to think I’ve gotten better about, when I was a young coach, and I’m still a young coach, you’re so worried about being liked.” “Oftentimes when you have those difficult conversations, you try to be liked and respected at the same time, and then people are like, ‘What the heck did you really just say?’ There’s no good way to deliver tough information other than with some empathy, but being direct, open and honest.” “And I love him. He knows that I love him. I couldn’t have more respect for him, even in terms of the way that he handles some of those difficult conversations. That’s an inevitable part of it.”

Sean McVay says the real separator in leadership is how you handle the storms “I think the separator for the coaches and the leaders that I admire the most, because when things are good, it’s really like, how do we stay humble in the midst of that? How do we continue to be able to work and trust the things that we’re doing, but stay humble in the midst of that journey?” “But when you have adversity, when there’s storms, I think it’s so important that whether it’s you guys or players, they can look and they can be like, ‘I believe we can get out of this. I believe this is temporary because I believe that people that are in leadership positions have a vision, have a plan, that there’s an authenticity, there’s a capacity, there’s character and there’s a connection that are behind those things, and this too shall pass.’” “But when you’re in those storms, if you’re looking around and you don’t have anybody where it’s like, ‘Man, woe is me. We’re never going to get out of it,’ that’s why I respect and admire when I watch leaders, whether that’s players, coaches, or just leaders in any other space, I want to see how you’re handling the tough times.” “Because that’s when I’ve been at my worst, and I don’t want to be that again. And that’s when you’re really, the separator is how you handle the storms. I really believe that.”