Sarcastic || Grammar Nazi || Licenced Engineering Practitioner (Pr.Eng)

Harare, Zimbabwe
Joined October 2010
LorençoR retweeted
Best job in the world? 🤩 Pommie Mbangwa travels the world, watching and talking about cricket, and the former Zimbabwe international has become one of the leading commentators in the game. Hear every ball of Australia's tour of South Africa, live and ad free, on ABC listen: ab.co/ABClisten Live blog: ab.co/4yGPbXa #SAvAUS
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LorençoR retweeted
Me: “I failed my O-Level exams, but I still want to proceed to A-Level regardless.” Herentals College:
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LorençoR retweeted
real
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LorençoR retweeted
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Best use of AI I've seen this year
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KARIBA:A NATIONAL DISASTER DEMANDS NATIONAL LEADERSHIP. The death toll from the Kariba ferry disaster has now risen to 92. Ninety-two lives lost,families shattered,children and babies among the dead. Survivors left to live with memories that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. This has gone far beyond another tragic accident. It is a national tragedy, and the declaration of a national disaster is appropriate. But declarations alone cannot be where this ends. In times of national mourning, leadership is important.I believe the highest authority in the land should be visible and present with the affected families.Scheduled meetings can be cancelled or postponed. Diaries can be rearranged. There is time for business as usual, and there is time to stand with the citizens whose lives have been devasted. Visit some of the families, sit with them, listen to them. Reassure them that everything possible will be done to ensure a tragedy of this magnitude is never repeated. And then there must be accountability. Yes a Commission of Inquiry should be established. But frankly some of the questions demanding answers are already staring us in the face. The condition and age of the vessel, the apparent overloading, questions surrounding life jackets and, according to survivors, repeated warnings that water was coming onboard amid pleas to turn back. Those accounts must be thoroughly investigated and tested, but they cannot simply be pushed aside. If negligence or incompetence is established, there must be consequences. Heads must roll where responsibility is proven. We cannot continue with a culture where failure carries no consequences and incompetence is rewarded with another promotion or appointment. This is where bold decisions are required. Action will restore some confidence. More importantly it will show families of those who died, the survivors and the communities around Lake Kariba that their lives matter and that the government is listening. And there is another group we must not forget, the survivors. Some have lost parents, husbands, wives, relatives and friends. Some children have lost their mother's and fathers. Some survivors were themselves forced to watch people drown. Those people will need real psychological and emotional support long after the cameras have gone. Then there's the economic impact. The vessel was a lifeline for communities around the lake. Fishmongers depended on it to move their catch and ice. Shopkeepers depended on it for basic transport. While the investigation and rebuilding process is taking place, temporary measures should be put in place. If necessary, privately owned ferries should be contracted to maintain this vital link safely,rather than leaving entire communities stranded and livelihoods hanging in the balance. And going forward let us build properly. Commission a competent local boat builder to construct a modern ferry, preferably two, designed specifically to carry passengers and cargo safely on Lake Kariba. The money can be found. What we cannot afford is another disaster followed by another round of condolences,promises and meetings. We owe the 92 who have died more than that. Our thoughts are with the families of those who lost loved ones,the survivors,those still waiting for news of relatives, the communities of Kariba and sll those involved in the search, recovery and identification of the victims. May the departed souls restin peace.🕊🕊 May their families find strength in this unimaginably difficult time.🕊🕊
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I needed to move a sofa. I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?" I did not know anybody with a truck. He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name. "You gotta know somebody with a truck." I asked how one acquires such a person. He said, "You just do." This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having. He said, "Ask Kevin." I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle. I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius. Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES. Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man. I had not asked for a second man. The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves. They moved the sofa in eleven minutes. I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not. I asked what I owed them. Kevin said, "Buy the pizza." That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size. Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE. We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it. Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive." I still think about that. Three weeks later, Kevin texted me. "You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge." He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge. Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF. I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms. Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck. I said, "Yeah, I got a guy." I have a guy. I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me. He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size." I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.
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Creatives really give us some comic relief🤣🤣🤣
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Even during heavy rain they broadcast crystal clear footage
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LorençoR retweeted
A wife went viral for admitting she and her husband are mediocre. Average looking, not funny, no friends, mentally ill. And she can't explain why their marriage feels like a fairytale. A psychologist in Seattle solved this exact puzzle in the 1990s. John Gottman wired an apartment near the University of Washington with cameras and brought in 130 newlywed couples to just live in it. He tracked something he called bids: the tiny reaches for attention partners make all day. "Look at that bird." "Listen to this." A sigh that wants acknowledging. Six years later, 17 couples had divorced. When his team went back to the tapes, the still-married couples had turned toward those bids 86% of the time. The divorced couples had managed 33%. That one behavior predicted the outcome better than anything else in the data. Looks never entered the model. Humor never entered the model. Intelligence, money, status, shared hobbies: none of it showed up. Now reread her post. "I can spend every minute of every day with this dude and not really get tired of it. We can get in the car and just drive for hours and talk." Two people driving nowhere for hours are exchanging hundreds of bids and catching nearly all of them. She graded the marriage on every trait that predicts nothing, and missed that they're elite at the one behavior that predicts almost everything.
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LorençoR retweeted
Prosperitymaxxing 101: 1. Starting a business should take days, not a cousin in the ministry. 2. Taxes should be simple enough that honest people can pay them without hiring three experts. 3. Energy has to be reliable, affordable, and abundant. No factory, clinic, cold room, or school runs on speeches. 4. Hiring should not feel like adopting a legal problem for life. 5. Property has to be protected, especially from people with connections. 6. Courts should enforce legit contracts fast enough that trust can move beyond family. 7. Trade should move. If every border crossing becomes a punishment, local producers stay local and poor. 8. Government should stop picking winners. Customers are better judges than ministers. Boring? Maybe. But this is how countries get rich: ordinary people build, compete, hire, and keep going without begging for permission.
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LorençoR retweeted
Intonation changes meaning.
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LorençoR retweeted
This guy must be visiting my house all the time.
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LorençoR retweeted
I help organizations develop performance scorecards and performance contracts. One role for which many organizations find it particularly difficult to develop meaningful scorecards is Internal Audit. In reality, every role can have a clear, measurable scorecard once you first understand the organization's strategic priorities. The key is to identify the role's critical deliverables and align them directly with the business objectives. When that alignment is done well, the scorecard becomes a powerful tool for driving performance rather than just measuring activity. Below, I share a sample Internal Audit scorecard that illustrates this approach. @ipcconsultants
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Some people have a sense of humor. 😆🤭🤭🤣🤣
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LorençoR retweeted
Only us lucky few got one… The truth
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LorençoR retweeted
Someone filmed bats upside down and it looks like a goth night club 🦇
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LorençoR retweeted
Half Time takacooler!!!! Congo 1 - Berlin Conference 0
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LorençoR retweeted
When they google it and you are wrong
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Sweden at the World Cup
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