Oundle : To walk along leaning sideways, with one arm hanging limp and dragging one leg behind the other. Most commonly used by actors in amateur production of Richard III, or by people carrying a heavy suitcase in one hand.
Toronto : Generic term for anything which comes out of a gush despite all your careful efforts to let it out gently, e.g. flour into a white souce, tomato ketchup on to fried fish, sperm into a human being, etc.
Boothby graffoe: 1. The man in the pub who slaps people on the back as if they were old friends, when in fact he has no friends, largely on account of this habit. 2. Any story told by Robert Morley on chat shows.
Jarrow : An agrucultural device which, when towed behind a tractor, enables the farmer to spread his dung evenly across the width of the road.
Weem : The tools with which a dentist can inflict the greatest pain. Formerly, which tool this was was dependent upon the imagination and skill of the individual dentist, though now, with technological advances, weems can be bought specially.
Draffan : An infuriating person who always manages to look much more dashing that anyone else by turning up unshaven and hungover at a formal party.
Bilbster: A pimple so hideous and enormous that you have to cover it with sticking plaster and pretend you've cut yourself shaveing.
Kibblesworth : The footling amount of money by which the price of a given article in a shop is less than a sensible number, in a vain hope that at least one idiot will think it cheap. For instance, the kibblesworth on a pair of shoes priced at ?19.99 is 1p.
Hickling : The practice of infuriating teatregoers by not only arriving late to a centre-row seat, but also loudly apologising to and patting each member of the audience in turn.
Thurnby : A rucked-up edge of carpet or linoleum which everyone says someone will trip over and break a leg unless it gets fixed. After a year or two someone trips over it and breaks a leg.
Emsworth : Measure of time and noiselessness defined as the moment between the doors of a lift closing and it beginning to move.
Vancouver : The technical name for one of those huge trucks with whirling brushes on the bottom used to clean streets.
Belper: A knob of someone else's chewing gum which you unexpectedly find your hand resting on under a deks top, under the passenger seat of your car or on somebody's thigh under their skirt.