milkman

you know, in china they just call it Town

when mom asks if you want another bedtime story, but the big bad wolf lowkey did all that for no reason

those last few seconds before being put into hypersleep >>>

people call gambling a sin and then turn around and covet thy neighbors goat

a buddy of mine killed three birds with zero stones. he’s so cool

can you still fart with a BBL how to fart with a BBL reddit

According to this article, female praying mantis’s tendency for “sexual cannibalism” is common knowledge. Yet there are no likes on my tweet which alluded to this fact. Does anyone know why this might be? pbs.org/newshour/amp/science…

im setting my tv volume to 20 idgaf anymore

She’s a 10 but she has spinach in her teeth

you ever yawn so hard you cry

me on my wedding night after having sex with my praying mantis wife

when it gays it pours

If yo girl goes through hot and cold cycles, takes care of a diverse array of plants, and is commonly found in the northern hemisphere, uhhh she might be a temperate deciduous forest!

Required reading for upcoming tweet: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temper…

that one friend who always smokes too much and goes nonherbal

just found out about expiration dates. i think im gonna be sick…

just found out about Caesar and his good friend Brutus. i think im gonna be sick…

fuck you and your vision board

blue raspberry tastes like a love that never was